Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Random Thoughts from the Long Weekend...

-I got sick this weekend all of a sudden. I guess I pushed too hard at work and my body is catching up to me. Perhaps I should slow down. Hell, everybody else seems to be moving at snail speed anyway. The speed of a snail is probably the only thing they mimic. When presented with a brick wall in front of them, what is a snail's natural instinct, crawl over the wall or around it. They don't really do that at all. They just sit there while the world and people around them fall to pieces. I just love it when people who are supposedly of equal or more intelligence and skill react that way. All men are definitely not created equal.

-I didn't get to level 99 with my Vicious Summoner character coming off the weekend. This is from a game Dekaron by the way, for those of you who don't know. I did reset my skills so I can utilize all 4 Cosmos Skills now by using a low level staff. It feels good to drop a large group of mobs after casting the 4th Cosmos Skill in a row. However, something saddens me at the fact that I'm levelling all on my own and at a very slow pace at that. Looks like I won't get my wings at level 102 by the end of this year after all. Although, outside the world of Dekaron, I'm fine. But within this virtual world, I feel left-out and betrayed. People could've just easily said "gusto nila sumama sa mga malalakas". Oh well, cheers to your PK (Player Kill) fetish. There goes pinning all my happiness to a game. How pathetic. It's only a game after all.

-Being sick and living alone, definitely teaches you things and reminds you of things. You start remembering that you are alone and the only person who can take care of you is yourself. You start remembering that your friends are only your friends in so far as hanging with them or occassionally sharing something personal with them. I understand that. When was the last time I pulled for a friend who was sick. But then again, most of my friends don't live alone either.

-Picked up my guitar more than any percussion instrument this weekend. I don't find that as a bad thing really. I'm just really gig-tigang already that I'm starting to get withdrawal symptoms. I even asked Chad from Liquid Jane if I could jam percussions at their next gig. He loved the idea and extended an indefinite open invitation for me to jam at any of their gigs. Wow, that's very nice of him to say. Too bad their next gig is smack-dab on the night of the office Christmas party/dinner... errr party... dinner.... eerr pantry.

-I have squeezed out every TV show and anime episode that I've downloaded in my PC. I've watched them all. I watched Naruto Shippuden, Bleach, Vampire Night, Heroes, Prison Break, True Blood, One Tree Hill (the chicks are hot give me a break), etc. I would download some more. But my hard drives are full and I ran out of blank DVDs. I was meaning to buy a spindle of blank DVDs. But then I got sick. So I couldn't step out of my appartment even if I wanted to. I get the feeling I'd deteriorate into dust if I stepped outside. Kinda like this dude in this "House" episode, who never wanted to leave his place because he feared the outside world. I wish I could do that. I probably could pull that shit off if I found a job that pay wells that I can do from home.

-I was added by a number of random people in Friendster and Facebook the past few days. I feel like a Pokemon that people just wanna collect in their friends list. Wow! Now I have a Pokemon that can play congas! I should really stop accepting friend requests from people I don't even know or talk to. But then again, if I actually deleted everybody that I didn't really relate with, I could probably fit the remaining people in my top friends/featured friends section. LOL!

-Manny, you the man! Brought that beat down to De La Hoya. That must've hurt even with padded gloves. Nine rounds of pain. And here I thought, the only interesting fights these days are mixed martial arts shows like UFC.

-Watched one too many vampire related shows/anime this weekend (i.e. Vampire Night, True Blood). I got bored and installed Photoshop in my PC and played around with it. The end result is me with red eyes and fangs. Some people found it morbid. One person found it cool. Although I don't have a blood lust or anything, I feel like a vampire some times. Hidden, alone... Wish immortality came with it. But then again, what would I do with immortality? It's a rhetorical question. So please don't try to answer it.

-I wish people would say what they really mean. Although, I pride myself in being able to spin the truth a little. I don't outright lie. When you say "yes" to something. That means you will really do what you agreed to. Stop cowering, and beating around the bush. We're all grown people for crying out loud. And when things are urgent, then act with a sense of urgency and take charge. Stop acting like there's supposed to be a big question mark inside a speech balloon over your head all the time.

-I really want a darbuka. I played my friend's darbuka the other weekend and it felt great to play with it. His friend from Pinikpikan (now named Kalayo) told me we should do a proper jam. He's mentioned that once before. But I think it was the booze talking. I certainly hope not. Given my gig tigangness lately, I'd probably be able to jam with that band regularly if they allowed me to. Oh how I wish.

-My sense of morality has changed dramatically this past year. Well I didn't turn into a complete asshole or anything. But I'm finding myself being selfish more and more now. I still pull for friends, and run myself under the bus for other people's sakes. But I do it less frequently these days. Reciprocation is becoming more a requirement now than it ever was before. Bah humbug.

-People change. That is a fact. I have changed as well. I'm not even all that sure whether I'm changed for the better or worse. But compared to the small mound of navel lint that I used to be exactly one year ago. I can safely say I have changed for the better in that comparision. Some people I don't even recognize anymore. Some people have been so out of touch, that I feel I don't have a right to comment about their lives altogether. I don't keep in touch as well. But then again, it's a two-way street. They stay out of touch too.

-Some people are also leaving my life in one aspect or another. It saddens me to know that eventuality is coming. I've lost so many people in my life since last year. I suppose a few more won't hurt.

-My band's first album is going nowhere once again. The band is in a state of transition from the old music and old band members, to a new line-up and the thirst to make new music. I personally offered to take on the album and see it all the way through. But it seems I'm not trusted with my decision making with the direction I want to take the album. Oh well, I bet later on I will be partly blamed for ending this year with the album not going anywhere. Once again, it's a two-way street. No one is pushing either to finish this first album. I get the feeling the 2nd album with the new music the band wants to write will come out sooner. That's cool too. Too bad everybody is just way too busy to work on any new music currently. Oh well, not like we do the band thing full-time. I just miss it I suppose. We'll see what January brings. I'll bring up the album again by then, or at least a jam to flesh out new songs.

-My electric bill sky-rocketed this month. And no, I will not tell you to what degree it went up. I suppose I'm making my appartment a 24 hour refrigerator just a little too much. Not too mention making my PC a 24 hour downloading machine. I should really taper my electricity consumption down. But then again, way over a year ago, my electric was much much higher. Hmmm. Perhaps I shouldn't be complaining.

-I wanna be filthy rich. Well, who doesn't really. But I'm starting to feel that money is the only recourse for happiness. My previous blog post was a speech delivered by Ben Affleck from the movie Boiler Room. Two lines I will quote from that speech. "Anybody tells you that money is the root of all evil, doesn't fucking have any!". "They say money can't buy you happiness, look at the fucking smile on my face! Ear to ear baby!". And to be honest, the few instances when I was happy the past few weeks involved forking over a certain amount of money. I'm not rich. But I also have very few things to spend my money on other than on myself.

-My Nintendo Wii finally saw some action this month with the entry of Star Wars Force Unleashed. I've neglected it and other forms of gaming because of Dekaron. I only bought the damn game for its duel mode. The Star Wars geek in me couldn't resist dueling someone with a Wii-Mote controller as a lightsaber. One can't also resist going off on someone with Force Lightning and yelling out "Absolute POWAAAAH!!!!" in true Senator Palpeteen/Emperor fashion. Geekery, you gotta love it.

-I really talk too much. I find myself chatting with the few friends that I have with a lot to say before they give a one-liner response back. Hence why I'm talking to my blog. I'm a weirdo once again.


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