Monday, December 28, 2009

The Chemicals Between Us

Back in my highschool days (yes, I'm that old already), I got into this band called Bush as part of the whole grunge/post-grunge wave that I was into at the time. There are many songs that I absolutely love from Bush. But I've been crunching over one in particular the past few days. It's been one of my soundtrack songs for no apparent lyrical relevance to my life currently. But it sure does keep me going to listen to it when I have a lot of work to course through in a day.

The song is called "The Chemicals Between Us". I figured I'd post something cool in here apart from the incessant rants that are already scaring certain people. Check out the music video of the song along with the song's prose.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

The Irony of it All, Part 2: Family Relief and Blind Trust

I spent Christmas Eve to Christmas morning with my parents and my little sister. It was a welcome and long overdue break, given that I haven't had any form of a break for practically the entire year. I took this opportunity to fill my family in on what's been going on with me the past months. It felt good to get it off my chest over lunch. I could tell my Dad wanted to interject his opinion on every opportunity. But my Mom and sister would stop him whenever he was about to, which gave me a chance to mention all the details. I know my Dad means well. It's just in him to provide his input when a problem is presented.

I went back to work despite my boss saying that I should take Christmas Eve to the weekend off. But I knew that I needed to work on stuff that couldn't be delayed to next week. My paranoia was right once again, apparently.

My family picked me up later that day and we went back home to my parents' house. I was saddened because I only got a chance to buy a Christmas gift for my little sister, not for my parents. Of course, they said that they understood and it's perfectly fine. But I still feel bad about it. My sister absolutely loved the planner that I got for her (Thanks to Euri for including me with her planner order).

After a while, my parents went back upstairs to turn-in, leaving myself and my sister just talking and catching up. I ended up opening up about my work once again. My Dad overheard our conversation and popped his head from upstairs to give his input. I ended up crying because I was feeling at a loss. I understood everything my little sister and my Dad said. But I suppose it didn't relieve me as much as I expected. This is the first irony these past few days. I am grateful for my family. What little relief I got by just talking to them is probably the most I've gotten this past year. I love my family. I probably don't show it as much as I should. I should really change that.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

SWTOR... Can't Wait...

Can't wait for this damn game to come out. Bioware really knows how to release just enough information about their upcoming Star Wars: The Old Republic MMO game to make you salivate in all your geekery.

Sith Inquisitor in action...

Jedi Consular in action...

Two separate Sith classes (Sith Warrior/Sith Inquisitor), and two Jedi classes (Jedi Knight/Jedi Consular); WTF?!? Damn you, Bioware. You got me so whipped. (Queue in geeky drool)


Tuesday, December 22, 2009

The Irony Of It All

As I stay up this night, waiting for clients who seem to think that everyone in this world is living in the same time zone, I realize that so much has happened and I haven't mentioned even a word of it in here. I suppose I took the clichet "If you have nothing good to say, don't say anything at all" a little too much to heart with this blog. I guess I have this weird notion that the appearance of having things all good after strings of rant posts would amount to something. I can't imagine what that would be exactly. Hence, my current decision to post my stream of thought down in a non-sensical diary-esque post.

Before anything else, I would like to ask any person that reads this who essentially assumes that any depressing content is an indication of wrist slashing emo-ness. Scram I tell you, Scram. I've had a number of hater comments in this blog.  But as I look back at it, I just laugh because of those people's yearning for comparison, only really to elevate themselves for their own self esteem. So if any of you have anything non-constructive to say, once again, beat it.

(Anyway, back to regular programming)

The truth of the matter is, I am quite unsure if I'm okay. To add to the irony, I have spoken to a number of people about my professional well-being (or non-well-being), even though I have refrained uttering the same words in here. I am seen as a leader in the workplace by virtue of not only rank and position, but also due to strength, resiliency, and the ability to navigate through complex situations under pressure. My words to people lately have not reflected that totemic reputation. Admittedly, I am at wit's end. I can't see myself far into the future, yet I always prided myself in the fact that I think 4-5 chess moves ahead of the rest of the flock. Weirdly enough, I can't see several chess moves ahead anymore with my current clouded situation. I seek to be heard by people who are so blinded by their own perspective and ambition. And in the process, I neglect to be careful how my words affect others who do listen.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Trilok Gurtu

Master Percussionist Trilok Gurtu. He has many albums with his band Trilok Gurtu Project featuring very percussive resonating world music and/or chillout songs. Damn, this guy can play percussionist instrument. He can probably make boxes and water bottles sound so good. Just check out the video below.

I'm going to throw away all my percussion instruments now. LOL!