I haven't posted in here nowhere near as much I used to. I guess I've gotten lazy. Either that or I've started to feel that posting here is equivalent to keeping your thoughts to yourself. But I kinda like that characteristic about my blog. I can blather on about something and hardly anyone will overhear it.
The Ultimate Referee
A good friend of mine told me today over chat that I'm "too nice". Tell me something I don't know. But her mentioning it got me curious as to how she thinks that I am "too nice". I asked her for examples. But she couldn't remember any off the top of her head.
I soon figured out what she meant. And that's something I've noticed about myself too. (smoothly segways to the topic of conversation)
I am the ultimate referee. I am the translator. I am the filter. Communications that pass through me are processed through this clunky machine I call my brain. And the resulting output at the end of the conveyor belt is a neatly air tight package of nothing but "just the message" in it.
Processing involves skinning, scraping off, and shaving down (pardon the very unintended alliteration), all wrong approaches, short tempers, and finger-points off of what is truly the message that is being communicated.
The result is that people start to understand that we are not surrounded by "the enemy". There are no enemies. We are all teammates.
However, there is a certain level of "upkeep referee-ing" that I need to do on a daily basis to maintain even just a lopped-sided equilibrium. I feel like the U.N. that's constantly holding peace-keeping talks with several heavily armed countries.
Unlike sport referees that are essentially God on the field/court/ring, this referee often gets caught in the crossfire. All anybody else can do is either cringe and say "oh that's gotta hurt", or autistically not notice the shot-up corpse lying beside them.
After the dust settles each day, your left worn out and defeated, while people exit all smiles because the show is over. Everybody goes back to their lives. I come home to an empty appartment, with only myself to give me a "pat on the back". But I usually feel it's all worth it, or it will bear fruit some day.
I know this for sure because I come in for work the next day.