Monday, December 28, 2009

The Chemicals Between Us

Back in my highschool days (yes, I'm that old already), I got into this band called Bush as part of the whole grunge/post-grunge wave that I was into at the time. There are many songs that I absolutely love from Bush. But I've been crunching over one in particular the past few days. It's been one of my soundtrack songs for no apparent lyrical relevance to my life currently. But it sure does keep me going to listen to it when I have a lot of work to course through in a day.

The song is called "The Chemicals Between Us". I figured I'd post something cool in here apart from the incessant rants that are already scaring certain people. Check out the music video of the song along with the song's prose.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

The Irony of it All, Part 2: Family Relief and Blind Trust

I spent Christmas Eve to Christmas morning with my parents and my little sister. It was a welcome and long overdue break, given that I haven't had any form of a break for practically the entire year. I took this opportunity to fill my family in on what's been going on with me the past months. It felt good to get it off my chest over lunch. I could tell my Dad wanted to interject his opinion on every opportunity. But my Mom and sister would stop him whenever he was about to, which gave me a chance to mention all the details. I know my Dad means well. It's just in him to provide his input when a problem is presented.

I went back to work despite my boss saying that I should take Christmas Eve to the weekend off. But I knew that I needed to work on stuff that couldn't be delayed to next week. My paranoia was right once again, apparently.

My family picked me up later that day and we went back home to my parents' house. I was saddened because I only got a chance to buy a Christmas gift for my little sister, not for my parents. Of course, they said that they understood and it's perfectly fine. But I still feel bad about it. My sister absolutely loved the planner that I got for her (Thanks to Euri for including me with her planner order).

After a while, my parents went back upstairs to turn-in, leaving myself and my sister just talking and catching up. I ended up opening up about my work once again. My Dad overheard our conversation and popped his head from upstairs to give his input. I ended up crying because I was feeling at a loss. I understood everything my little sister and my Dad said. But I suppose it didn't relieve me as much as I expected. This is the first irony these past few days. I am grateful for my family. What little relief I got by just talking to them is probably the most I've gotten this past year. I love my family. I probably don't show it as much as I should. I should really change that.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

SWTOR... Can't Wait...

Can't wait for this damn game to come out. Bioware really knows how to release just enough information about their upcoming Star Wars: The Old Republic MMO game to make you salivate in all your geekery.

Sith Inquisitor in action...

Jedi Consular in action...

Two separate Sith classes (Sith Warrior/Sith Inquisitor), and two Jedi classes (Jedi Knight/Jedi Consular); WTF?!? Damn you, Bioware. You got me so whipped. (Queue in geeky drool)


Tuesday, December 22, 2009

The Irony Of It All

As I stay up this night, waiting for clients who seem to think that everyone in this world is living in the same time zone, I realize that so much has happened and I haven't mentioned even a word of it in here. I suppose I took the clichet "If you have nothing good to say, don't say anything at all" a little too much to heart with this blog. I guess I have this weird notion that the appearance of having things all good after strings of rant posts would amount to something. I can't imagine what that would be exactly. Hence, my current decision to post my stream of thought down in a non-sensical diary-esque post.

Before anything else, I would like to ask any person that reads this who essentially assumes that any depressing content is an indication of wrist slashing emo-ness. Scram I tell you, Scram. I've had a number of hater comments in this blog.  But as I look back at it, I just laugh because of those people's yearning for comparison, only really to elevate themselves for their own self esteem. So if any of you have anything non-constructive to say, once again, beat it.

(Anyway, back to regular programming)

The truth of the matter is, I am quite unsure if I'm okay. To add to the irony, I have spoken to a number of people about my professional well-being (or non-well-being), even though I have refrained uttering the same words in here. I am seen as a leader in the workplace by virtue of not only rank and position, but also due to strength, resiliency, and the ability to navigate through complex situations under pressure. My words to people lately have not reflected that totemic reputation. Admittedly, I am at wit's end. I can't see myself far into the future, yet I always prided myself in the fact that I think 4-5 chess moves ahead of the rest of the flock. Weirdly enough, I can't see several chess moves ahead anymore with my current clouded situation. I seek to be heard by people who are so blinded by their own perspective and ambition. And in the process, I neglect to be careful how my words affect others who do listen.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Trilok Gurtu

Master Percussionist Trilok Gurtu. He has many albums with his band Trilok Gurtu Project featuring very percussive resonating world music and/or chillout songs. Damn, this guy can play percussionist instrument. He can probably make boxes and water bottles sound so good. Just check out the video below.

I'm going to throw away all my percussion instruments now. LOL!


Monday, November 30, 2009

League of Legends

For all you hardcore gamers out there, DOTA (Defense of the Ancients) has been the staple custom map that has prolonged the life of the old Warcraft 3 game created by Blizzard. 2 sides, 3 lanes, a whole slew of heroes to choose from, intertwine it with RPG elements, and obviously IceFrog has definitely made a winner.

There are a number of DOTA-esque clones around. But this post is about one of the popular ones out there.

The game is called League of Legends created from scratch by a company called Riot Games. Riot Games claims to have some of the veteran members that created DOTA for Warcraft 3. I suppose the remaining members of the original team are still with Icefrog now that they are essentially working for Blizzard.

It is very similar to DOTA in design. But Riot Games has extended it further with a whole new set of "champions", items, and persistent RPG element which are Summoners. Summoners are essentially the players themselves, who summon champions when they go into a match.  The Summoners level with each match that they play, allowing you to level your Summoner skills. These skills add a new dimension into the skirmish matches.

Below are some of the video trailers that Riot Games posted on League of Legends.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Looking at the Past as Reminders...

I have an acquaintance in my Yahoo Messenger that for days has a status message about not looking at the past because it destroy's one's future. Something tells me that that status is there more to convince himself of this rather than to teach other people a lesson.

I, on the other hand, severely beg to differ about not looking at the past. Looking at the past doesn't have to be wielded as something destructive to one's self. rather, it can be harnessed as a reminder on how to compose one's self in the future.

So just an exercise for today, let's look to my past few years in order to prove my point.

Reminders Based on One's Own Past Actions

There are moments in anybody's life that we all remember and do the following knee-jerk reactions:

1. Remember the memory and vividly picture the event.
2. Cringely close your eyes. (Facepalm is optional)
3. Utter softly to yourself, "Stupid".

I challenge anyone who doesn't have a whole slew of of these experience in their lives. With each cringing reminder, one personally vows to never be that stupid again. And these tiny vows for every cringing experience ultimately guides one's future actions.

Whether it's saying the wrong thing at the wrong time to girl back in highschool, or making a mistake at work by mixing your personal life with your professional life, these moments, if wielded properly, guide you on how you compose yourself in the future.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Final Fantasy XIII

I've lost track of Final Fantasy since the Playstation 1 days. But the series seems to keep going and the presentation keeps getting better and better as they lengthen the epic story further. Below is a video I found that showed the trailer for Final Fantasy XIII for the Playstation 3 at the TGS 2009. The gameplay shots are exactly the same quality as the cinematics, and it seems like the game flows between the two very seamlessly.

The game looks so beautiful from just the trailer. I actually might consider buying a Playstation 3 just to play this game. LOL!


Sunday, November 8, 2009

Dead by Sunrise

Last year, I blogged about a song performed as an acoustic version by a side project band that Chester Bennington of Linkin Park was involved in ( There were no other signs of this band on the net, apart from a few live videos taken from one of their rare live performances.

A year later, the band Dead by Sunrise finally comes out with a full length album. I was so glad to find out about this and immediately searched the net to see if the song "Let Down" was part of the album. Lo and behold, it's one of their carrier singles. I like the acoustic version of the song. But I love the album version even more. I've been listening to this song over and over for days, and even rekindled my guitar playing because of the song's relative easy in playing.

Below is the audio of the song along with the song's prose again. The music video was uploaded by the band on their official channel. But the idiots at Warner Music Group, yanked all signs of it all over the net. I don't see why the band who actually wrote and plays the song can't post the music video for themselves. Too bad. The music video was done really well.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Bad Day: The Tweets I Didn't Put on Twitter

meeting... cleared someone's name... some people unsatisfied... more cases to come...

boss asks me to go on home and come back later tonight for client conference call... as if i can afford to go home...

mouse wheel broke... can't scroll properly... productivity hampered...

reporting analyst asks me if billable data is okay... it was innaccurate... had to make a decision to go with lesser revenue... finance in a hurry...

marketing complaint regarding lack of staff... have to find someone to bring in for her myself...

player reports a invi-hacker... asked for SS... no SS because the hacker is invisible... can't help him...

IT guy explains troubleshooting process with VOIP solution provider... had to listen intently...

korean asks for help... no data?... yes, no data... no data?... yes, no data... gave him proper positioning to make the sale...

Monday, November 2, 2009

Nothing Box

I saw this video posted by a friend on Facebook a few weeks ago and it literally cracked me up. It kinda explained a lot of things about myself that I actually knew all along but didn't realize it. This video snippet is part of a whole video seminar that this guy Mark Gungor sells on his website.

Nothing Box! Cracks me up every time. It's so true. I go into my Nothing Box every weekend. Especially this particular isolation-fest weekend. LOL!

From what little I've viewed, it seems very good for couples. I'm completely single. But I can appreciate what's being taught, weaved in with all of Mark Gungor's over the top humor.



Amy Lee of a band called Evanesence has mesmerized me ever since the band's first album. It's rare to come across a female vocalist that weaves her angelic voice amongst heavy guitar riffs. To be honest, I was kinda irked when I found out that the band's positioning to become famous was that they were a Christian rock band. Don't get me wrong. I believe in God and adhere to Catholicism to a certain extent. I just find it a little more a marketing ploy than anything else. I soon shrugged that off when I watched their live concert DVD. Especially the cool cover they did of a Korn song.

The song I've been crunching on is actually a song by another band called Seether. The band re-released one of their songs featuring Amy Lee as the second vocalist. I like the re-released version better. Amy Lee's voice blended well into the song and added a much needed female component to the song's lyrical content. And of course, the lyrical content fits my current state of mind the past weekend (LOL!). Below is the video of the song along with its prose.

Turtle Shell Thoughts

I've been turtle shelling into my own world this past weekend. Although, this weekend has been relatively pleasant being in the solitary confines of my appartment. I just need to put some of my more negative thoughts down. Yes, I'm essentially just talking to myself once again.

Continued Betrayals

Over two years ago, I was betrayed by someone I absolutely trust. And although, I may have broken that trust on my end a few times, it was always very minor and I always tried to make up for it. You would think that after going through a major betrayal ordeal, and licking your wounds, you would be able to discern who are true people that you can really trust.

Apparently, my naivete continues even in the realm of strong friendship. Even though this friend does have reasons for doing what he did, he fell to cowardice and breaking the very integrity that bonded us together in the first place. He forgot that the I personally uphold the "favor card" concept to my closest of friends. When you pull this card on me, I will go to great lengths to help you on whatever problem you have. However, there are conditions to this concept. These are the following:

1. The help that you need shouldn't break my core sense of values. What is wrong to do will still be wrong even in your time of need. I might be willing to bend my values a little. But I will never make a huge deviation from it.

2. Favor cards are excersized by giving me a "choice". Allow me to make the decision myself to help you. Do not assume I will just come to your rescue one day, while keeping me in the dark the entire time.

I always felt that the two conditions were not too much to ask with a really good friend. But apparently, it is too much to ask. Apologies in this case, seem like lies and ultimately insulting.

This situation along with other similar issues this past month, has left me not knowing who I can really trust. The only remaining people I do trust are my family and friends that I have known for eons. Anybody else are now just mere acquaintances to me. Or at least that's just my knee-jerk reaction everytime I'm faced with a situation with people.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Steve Vai

Damn. Steve Vai's gettin' old. But he's still the man. Looks like he changed up his guitar from his standard white beauty. Just check out the video below.

That's how violin players should rock! Sweeeeeet...

Ima throw away my guitar now. Vai's too good.


Wednesday, October 28, 2009


Years ago, a company called Bandai released these little electronic toys called "Tamagotchi". They're essentially virtual pets that you feed, play with, as you watch them grow. I remember these things getting banned in schools because kids would do nothing but take care of their Tamagotchis.

A good friend missed her old Tamagotchi. So I searched the net for anything close to it that's playable online. I found the flash game below.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009


I remember watching an old science fiction TV series called "V" when I was a kid. Okay, I just practically announced how old I really am. LOL!

For those of you who don't know about "V", the story is about aliens all of a sudden showing up on earth, pretending to be the same in appearance as humans. Later you find out they're actually humanoid lizards who love eating mice for snacks, aside from their plans to actually take over the entire planet. That's as far as I'll spoil the story of "V".

Apparently, a remake of the old sci-fi TV show is coming out soon. And it looks pretty good. I hope they do the remake well to do justice to the original. Check out the preview video of the remake series below.

Okay, maybe one last spoiler tidbit. RED DUST baby! LOL! Now I just announced that I'm not only old, but a total geek as well.  I'm such a weirdo.


Saturday, October 17, 2009

World of Warcraft Commercials

I admit that I haven't played WoW (World of Warcraft) in the longest time. I stopped playing last year to focus on Dekaron.  Then took a break from Dekaron to play WoW.  And then I'm back in Dekaron.  The next WoW expansion has been announced.  And my clunky old PC won't be able to run it well for sure, given how taxing Wrath of the Lich King is on my PC as it is.  I wanted to buy a new PC so that I can play WoW again without having to sacrifice quality graphic settings. But a friend of mine just recently broke my trust in him, which eventually equated to a big chunk of money that was meant for my parents and new PC to be selfishly allocated to him without giving me a choice.

Anyway, enough of the bad vibes. I'll eventually be able to buy a new PC again. Just hope it will be before the new WoW expansion comes out. In the meantime, I wanted to share with you some of the TV commercials Blizzard (the company who created WoW) has been putting up on US television to advertise their game. The funny thing about these commercials is that Blizzard hires specific celebrities to endorse WoW, each with its own funny twist.  There are a whole slew of commercials. But I wanted to just share with you my favorites.

Mr. T and his Night Elf Mohawk

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Pamela Lynn

I rarely come across female percussionists. So I thought I'd share this particular video of a female djembe player.

I'm on the fence whether or not she's super good (not like I'm good at percussions myself). She does have flashes of brilliance in some of her licks. I appreciate her playing regardless. Apparently the song in this video is part of a full length album of djembe based songs.  Not bad.


Sunday, October 11, 2009

High and Mighty Color...

I am extremely bored. So I'm going to keep posting on this blog about whatever is on my mind until I've successfully emptied every thought I can muster from my tiny little brain. So feel free to click the tiny little box on the top right hand corner with an X on it if boredom sets in while reading. (I just love extremely long run-on sentences, don't you?)

Fans of the ongoing anime "Bleach" will like this song for sure. The intro song has been changed practically every season of Bleach. But I like this one in particular. This Japanese band called "High and Mighty Color" created a song that made its way as one of the intro songs for the anime. I looked up the band and found their music much to my liking despite me totally not understanding a word that the two vocalists were singing (Lyrics are in Japanese).

Anyway, below is the music video of the song I'm raving about. My only disappointment is when I found out that the female vocalist actually doesn't do the growling like I originally thought when I first heard the song. The prose to this song is highly irrelevant to those of you who don't understand Japanese like me. The song is just plainly a whole lot of fun.

Global Mala Project 2009

It's been a while since this event.  So I'll try my best to remember what happened that day as best as I can given that I turn my brain off during weekends.  LOL!

My good friends Dave and Donna invited me to another drumming workshop.  This time it was part of a whole Yoga/Wellness event called Global Mala Project.  This year's Global Mala Project was on the top floor of Fully Booked in Bonifacio High Street.  Dave and Donna warned me that there was no budget this time.  I just responded that I would've helped facilitate the last time for free.  I just want the opportunity to be a part of the Drum Jam Workshop group once again.

As I entered the event area, I initially felt weirded out because of all the Yoga buffs all over the place.  I felt like the unhealthiest person around.  LOL!

There was a whole slew of meditative and wellness activities lined up for the entire day until the evening.  The activities of the event were running late.  So we had to wait a while until it was our turn to give a workshop.

I was excited to use my 14 inch fiberglass Pearl djembe once again.  That drum doesn't see a lot of action these days.  I'm sure my baby is feeling neglected.  LOL!

I was glad to see Pepoy again.  That guy is something else on percussions.  And to think he's better at playing a drum kit than a djembe.  We talked for a bit about what's been going on in terms of music for ourselves.  There's a slight possibility I might've found the replacement drummer for SunDownMuse.  But we'll see how that goes depending on where my bandmates' heads are with SunDownMuse.

The drumming workshop we gave was one of many activities for the day.  So it was expected that we wouldn't have a lot of people participating.  We had a healthy number given that we had a smaller team of facilitators.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

mobius united

Just reposting my company's effort to help out.

Do your part in helping those affected by Typhoon Ondoy. Donate mobius ePoints now for relief assistance and rescue operations. Every little bit will go a long way towards helping those in need.

Collections will be donated to the Red Cross to assist in their relief and rescue efforts.


Saturday, September 26, 2009

Poleo and Papilon

That's it. I feel like throwing away my congas.  Just watch the video below.

They're just too good.  I couldn't even tell that they were actually doing 2 separate time signatures.  I'm such a percs noob.  LOL!

Thursday, September 17, 2009

2 Years And It Feels Bittersweet

Today marks exactly two years since I started in this company I work in. It's funny when the anniversary of something comes around, whether it's my birthday, the new year, etc., that I always take a step back and think about what I've accomplished, where I'm at currently, and where I'm headed. I suppose I did get something from my Atenean college education afterall. But I have yet to figure out whether that is a good or bad thing. ;)

What I've Accomplished...

In some perspectives, I haven't accomplished much. But if I look at the positive side of things (which is very rare for a pessimistic and cynical person like me), I have accomplished a great deal the past two years compared to the last 4 years prior to that.

  1. Joined a gaming company.
  2. Got a director title and a pay raise.
  3. Work shifts became a little more flexible (comes with the job title). Daytime shift! Goodbye GY!
  4. Working in a city that is spacious and way less bustling than my previous job.
  5. Cleaned up a department that used to be in disarray.
  6. Garnered the respect of all my people in my department.
  7. Increased company revenue.
  8. Elevated the reputations of some of my direct reports.
  9. Got promoted to VP of Operations (AVP by title, but VP by responsibility, and introduced to clients as a VP) and a pay raise.
  10. Garnered the respect of almost all my people in the additional department I was given to oversee (all except one actually, which I will not get into heehee).
I can go on and on about every last details of what I have accomplished in my work There is definitely a lot to be thankful to God for.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

On Feasts, Splurge-fests, atbp...

I normally title these kinds of posts as "Random Thoughts from the Week/Weekend". But I wanted to change it up a little. LOL!

Anyway, on to all my scattered thoughts and my attempt to portray them in all my over-verbose-ness (if that's even a word).


It's about 8:00PM on a Sunday night right now. I just came back from a mother of a meal in Joey Pepperoni. They just opened a branch less than stone's throw away from my appartment building. I had this sudden craving for piles and piles of carbonara. So Joey's was definitely the way to go for dinner. I'm way too full though because I ordered mushroom soup, carbonara AND pork with rice. Geez, I surprised myself some times at how much food I can consume when I'm really hungry.

I've been going to Malcom's quite often to gorge on their very sumptuous Wagyu steaks. Those things are huge! I keep on ordering it even though I end up having about 1/3 of it wrapped so I can bring it home. Well, at least I have an awesome lunch and take home for an awesome dinner.

I've been feasting a lot these days. Weekends are spent binging on ice-cold beer and good food. I've been gaining weight because of it. But it's fine considering that last last year I dropped 20-30 pounds. Now I'm slowly creeping back up to my weight back then. But who cares. Not really out to impress anyone. Feasting just plainly puts a smile on my face each and everytime. See like this like this. :D LOL!

Friday, August 28, 2009

Farewell Nine Inch Nails

I've been planning on going to the Nine Inch Nails concerts for months. But I didn't really have anyone to go with. There were 1 or 2 friends of mine that were interested in going. But we couldn't really peg down plans for it. A friend of mine, Chad, texted me a few days prior to the concert asking me if I had plans on going. He offered to buy me a ticket along with his bandmate Tebs, so we can all go together. So I was thrilled to be able to go with people to the concert.

I was giddy like a kid all day at work, on the way to Araneta Collisuem, and up to when we were seated in our Upper Box B seats. I haven't been to a good concert in ages. So my excitement was spewing out of every orifice of my body.

A few minutes before Pupil came up on stage (they were the fronting act), Tebs got a text from her Tita whom she's been bugging for weeks to get her tickets for this concert. The text said to go claim her tickets at the ticket booth. So she went downstairs to go check it out. Apparently her Tita came through for her last minute, and she had 2 tickets right in the front row, smack-dab in the middle. Tebs and Chad were both looking at me because there were only two tickets. I just told them, that I'd kill them if they didn't take the tickets and head down to the front row. They both smiled and quickly ran to their front row and center seats.

The pictures on this post are mostly from Tebs' camera since she took some really nice shots from up in the front row. So photo credit goes to her.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Tron Legacy

Way back in 1982, Disney released a science fiction movie called TRON. A few years later, I was able to watch this movie and absolutely loved it. For those of you who do not remember this movie, below is a custom trailer that a fan put together of the old film.

I even bought the DVD of this movie and continue to watch it every so often even until now. Retro-Geekery, I know. This movie was actually one of the main inspirations/motivations behind me getting into programming when I was a kid. Yet, it's still very astonishing to me that my job career nowhere near involves programming. I still miss programming. I just don't have the time to delve into it these days.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Drum Jam Workshop

SunDownMuse gigs were becoming fewer and far between the past weeks/months. Given that gigging was one of my few escapes in my life, I was becoming increasingly restless. But life at times surprises you with little reprieves here and there, that end becoming some of the most unforgettable memories that you will keep for the rest of your life.

A good friend of mind, Dave Esteban, sent me a message through Facebook, with a very interesting invitation. Dave used to be the percussionist of one of my favorite local bands called Sound. He was one of my personal inspirations to start percussions.

The message was an invitation to facilitate an upcoming drumming workshop that he and his wife are organizing. I was late in responding. But when I actually did text him. Dave said that all facilitator slots have been filled. However, Dave texted me later that day because one of their facilitators backed out. I was weirdly hesitant to accept his invitation given that there was just way too much to do at work these days. But I eventually agreed.

The workshop group was called Drum Jam Workshop. Dave filled me in on the details and I showed up at the orientation/practice for the workshop at the school his mom is running, Esteban School. I left early from work just to join the orientation. I called my "suki-cab driver" to give me a ride to the school. I was so glad that I brought my 14 inch Pearl fiberglass djembe. It's been neglected for so long that I imagine it would grow some feet and runaway from home already. I was at the school early before everyone else, obviously showing my over-eagerness to participate. I ended up hanging out with Dave in his office for a while. Dave was pleasently surprised when I told him I was a VP of Operations in my company. He said I was a perfect fit for the workshop group. But I didn't really fully understand what he meant by that.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009


My geeky senses are tingling. Just watch the video below and you'll know what I'm talking about. I want one of these dammit! XD


Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Happy Birthday!!!

Today is my very cute cuuuuuute little niece's birthday. Kami is now 2 years old. I love that kid. Below is a recent picture of her so you know how gigil cute she is even at 2 years of age. :)

Happy Birthday Kami!!!!


Friday, June 12, 2009

Mouse Squeaks

I haven't posted in here nowhere near as much I used to. I guess I've gotten lazy. Either that or I've started to feel that posting here is equivalent to keeping your thoughts to yourself. But I kinda like that characteristic about my blog. I can blather on about something and hardly anyone will overhear it.

The Ultimate Referee

A good friend of mine told me today over chat that I'm "too nice". Tell me something I don't know. But her mentioning it got me curious as to how she thinks that I am "too nice". I asked her for examples. But she couldn't remember any off the top of her head.

I soon figured out what she meant. And that's something I've noticed about myself too. (smoothly segways to the topic of conversation)

I am the ultimate referee. I am the translator. I am the filter. Communications that pass through me are processed through this clunky machine I call my brain. And the resulting output at the end of the conveyor belt is a neatly air tight package of nothing but "just the message" in it.

Processing involves skinning, scraping off, and shaving down (pardon the very unintended alliteration), all wrong approaches, short tempers, and finger-points off of what is truly the message that is being communicated.

The result is that people start to understand that we are not surrounded by "the enemy". There are no enemies. We are all teammates.

However, there is a certain level of "upkeep referee-ing" that I need to do on a daily basis to maintain even just a lopped-sided equilibrium. I feel like the U.N. that's constantly holding peace-keeping talks with several heavily armed countries.

Unlike sport referees that are essentially God on the field/court/ring, this referee often gets caught in the crossfire. All anybody else can do is either cringe and say "oh that's gotta hurt", or autistically not notice the shot-up corpse lying beside them.

After the dust settles each day, your left worn out and defeated, while people exit all smiles because the show is over. Everybody goes back to their lives. I come home to an empty appartment, with only myself to give me a "pat on the back". But I usually feel it's all worth it, or it will bear fruit some day.

I know this for sure because I come in for work the next day.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Upcoming Star Wars Geekery

There are no words to describe it. Just watch the video. [Wipes the geeky drool from his mouth]


Sunday, May 17, 2009

Mangatyanan Trailer

Our drummer Jerrold, aside from being a kick-ass drummer, is primarily an independent filmmaker. He just finished up his latest Cinemalaya film. Check out the film trailer below.

The boy is good at what he does to say the least. And here I was insecure about his learned musical knowledge. When his film writing, directing, and producing is at a much higher level than even his music.


Sunday, May 10, 2009

I Don't Trust Myself

It's been a while since I posted a song. I have a few to post. But they're not so relevant to my thoughts and feelings anymore. So please expect that I'll post one song after another until I catch up to current. :p

I was crunching over this song for a few weeks straight for some reason. I like the groove of the song. And although the lyrical content is rather cheesy, the songs gives you a feeling of something to look forward to if you do find someone. John Mayer's shift from his pop sensibilities into a my blue-sy groove vibe is more than welcome to my ears. I do like his older stuff. His Continuum album just really shows how his music has progressed and matured.

Anyway, here's some slideshow video someone put together of the song on YouTube. Along with the song's prose. The slideshow is kinda corny. But it will do for the purposes of letting you listen to the studio album version of the song.

I Don't Trust Myself (With Loving You)
by John Mayer

No I'm not the man I used to be lately
See you met me at an interesting time
If my past is any sign of your future
You should be warned before I let you inside

Hold on to whatever you find baby
Hold on to whatever will get you through
Hold on to whatever you find baby
I don't trust myself with loving you

I will beg my way into your garden
I will break my way out when it rains
Just to get back to the place where I started
So I can want you back all over again

Hold on to whatever you find baby
Hold on to whatever will get you through
Hold on to whatever you find baby
I don't trust myself with loving you

Who do you love?
Girl I see through, through your love
Who do you love me or the thought of me? me or the thought of me?

Hold on to whatever you find baby
Hold on to whatever will get you through
Hold on to whatever you find baby
I don't trust myself with loving you

Hold on to whatever you find baby
Hold on to whatever gets you through through
Hold on to whatever you find baby
I don't trust myself with loving you
I don't trust myself with loving you
I don't trust myself with loving you
I don't trust myself with loving you

This is actually the video of a live performance of the song that first caught my attention. It shows that his melodic style does blend really well when applied with a Stevie Ray Vaughn feel to guitar soloing.


Thursday, April 23, 2009

On Percussions and Life

I've been thinking for quite some time why I became interested in percussions. Like most people, my initial interest in percussions is to partake in music without much skill to speak of. Since percussions is largely not the core melody or riff in most music out there, the lack of skill allows you to pretend like you are as skilled as the rest of your band. You are allowed to make mistakes on stage and be able to hide it because any mistakes are not prominently heard by the audience.

As years progressed, I can safely say that I've improved and have actually learnt more about percussions beyond what I have just invented. Traditional rhythms are now being injected in my invented style of playing. I decided to inject theory into my style instead of completely supplanting what I know with theory. (I use the word theory loosely because I really don't know much about theory in comparision to the learned the likes of UP Conservatory graduates).

Beyond my percussive improvement, and beyond my years of revelling in the music scene with the least path of resistance, I realized by I like percussions in terms of how I would prefer life to be.

Percussions is first and foremost about maintaining a beat or rhythm. After one stroke on my congas, there is an assumed expectation that another stroke follows, and so on and so forth.

As one progresses in skill and gets more creative, fills and variations are introduced into the basic rhythm. I personally do fills to change things up a little. But with every fill or variation, you always have to come back to the regular timing of the basic rhythm. Like in grunge music that usually has a 4/4 timing, you always have to come back to the 4th measure in time.

So how does relate to my life perspective? Pardon the long winded background explanation to lead towards the point I'm trying to make.

I am a person who doesn't mind routine. Just like maintaining the basic rhythm of a song or jam, routine can be likened to the repition of strokes.

I also don't mind changing things up because it provides color and excitement in my life. This can be likened to fill and variations that you do. Fills and variations to me are calculated risks; where you deviate from the basic rhythm but you are sure that you come back to the right timing at the end of the measure of your fill. I don't make decisions in my life that are way too risky. I usually take conservative or at most calculated risks. I can venture out of my safe zone. But ensure that I am able to come back to the routine.

I also realized that I don't want good things in my life to end. And hence why I don't mind doing or partaking in those good things over and over again. In percussions, there is always the next stroke. There is always the next measure. There is always the next song. There is always the next gig or the next jam.

In life, change is inevitable. I had huge changes in my life over a year ago. And I am glad that those changes turned out for the better in terms of my life. Freedom, Independence, a little more self confidence, getting back to my career, splurging on things that make me happy, participating in the music scene with little skill, are all things I enjoy now that I never had before.

I don't mind partaking in all these good things in my life over and over again. Routine is a good thing in this sense. And although change is inevitable in life, I wish for this to never end. If this is all I can really look forward to in life, then so be it. I am fine with this routine.


Monday, April 13, 2009

Random Thoughts from the Long Weekend...

-Too bad "rest days" aren't considered fully rest days when you're employed in a corporate setting. Started the long weekend with a good spanking from my boss on a client issue. Being accused of negligence first before hearing the full story always leaves you all warm and fuzzy inside. But in the end, the clichet wins, "the customer is always right."

-Juggled between two MMO RPGs this weekend; Dekaron and World of Warcraft. With all the playing time, I ultimately didn't level any of my Dekaron characters. Weird. I got my Dranei hunter in WoW to level 65 by the end of the weekend though. I still want to hit 80 before the end of the month. Then the real WoW fun starts.

-I'm still kinda crabby about cancelling on our Naga gig last weekend. It was an easy decision to make professionally. But personal speaking, I'm still kicking and screaming about it. The result is a client that ultimately doesn't bring that much business to the table and is playing hard-ball with pricing by putting us up against competition. As well as, missing out on a big gig that left my bandmates texting me after their set wishing I was there. Well done . I so want to gig again.

-Caught up with Bleach to the latest episode (some Naruto Shippudden too). Last two episodes were corny ass fillers. I know that fillers are there to create space between the manga and the anime. And I don't mind watching them because they're usually interesting. But this latest filler stint was useless.

-Dropped large sums of money for my parents' house repairs and in the name of MMO RPG gaming for myself this past week. My and my family's happiness spares no expense. This is why I work so hard for, for my family and I to be happy.

-A number of my managers have their plates full even through the weekend. I'm hoping they show resiliency and not drop anything. I have faith in them. It's whether or not they have faith in themselves is the question.

-Picked up my guitar the other day for the first time in a long time. Been too into PC gaming lately that I haven't been doing my daily ritual of "singing/playing" myself to sleep. I tried learning a new song or two. I tried learning to play and sing Toad the Wet Sprockets "All I Want" and Dave Matthew's cover version of "All Along the Watchtower". Well, learning just the chords to simplify the guitar playing so I can sing that is (I know the limitations of my guitar skills). But I was too under the influence of something to manage the singing part while playing the guitar part of both songs. And Toad's vocalist has a slightly higher vocal range than me. Even my pekpek voice (according to my friend, Emmah), had slight trouble maintaining the higher range. I ended up tabling those songs for another day. I noticed I downloaded tabs of the theme song to Super Mario Bros. I tried and I failed. I think I need another long weekend just dedicated to learning that if I ever want to play it perfectly some day.

-My drummer character in Rock Legends (app in Facebook) got to level 20 a few days ago. The only virtual instruments I bought for my character have been all percussions even though there were drum kits there. It's just the percussionist in me. As soon as I hit level 20, a flood of other bands just started thoroughly kicking my ass. Weird. But fun.

-Twitter is fun. I chose it over Plurk because I didn't want to have to maintain "Karma" like in Plurk. And I get to stalk US celebrities in Twitter. I just love how Dave Matthews and Chris Cornell post in real time about their gig tours. I die with envy with each and every message. How I wish I had the skill to be an awesome musician. I'd totally leave my job and do music full time even though the industry doesn't pay well. If and only if.

-I have no idea what attracts me in a girl these days (I'm definitely not turning gay if that's what's on your mind). I know what's hot, what's pretty, and what's interesting in personality when I see or meet a girl. But something somehow doesn't push me to do anything more than harmless flirting with this or that girl. And at times, I just flat-out ignore them. My friend Emmah thinks I'm waiting for it to "click" in my head when I meet a girl. So I'm not sure if I wait if and when that "click" pops up in my head, or if I should find out what the "click" is.

-Listened to bounce-downs of two of my band's songs, "Burned" and "Failing Days". I miss those times that we had that line-up and we were gigging a lot. These days, I'm actually the bottle-neck with album recording. I should really get off my ass and work on it. At least fix the files up and pass it on to Jerrold to take a look at. Perhaps I should give Roland a call and ask him if he can clean up those two songs at least before he leaves for the States. Perhaps perhaps perhaps. I'm so indecisive when it comes to the album recording.

-I watched the latest episodes of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. One Summer Glau Terminator to go please. I wouldn't mind Sarah Connor for take-out as well. She is afterall, the queen of Sparta. She can make a Spartan man out of me while teaching me how to prevent Skynet from going fully operational. But then again, why would I want to. I still want a Summer Glau terminator for myself.

-I still keep checking my horoscope in Friendster. And I still have yet to figure out whether I read it because I want direction in my life or just a good laugh. Trivial crisis continues to be unresolved. I'm such a weirdo.

-Paloma did a Brooke-Burke-esque gold flakes photoshoot for this month's issue of FHM Philippines. . Some of us guys can get chicks like that. And us geeky lurches down below can only have them in our dreams. Oh how Photoshop can create such beauty. Too bad there's nothing Photoshop can really do when it comes to me. LOL!

-I can't sleep. Crap. I put the same thing on Twitter just a few minutes ago. I think my body is subtley refusing to end the long weekend.


Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Maturity Compromising Wants over Needs

Please note that I took my VP hat off hours ago. And I write this post in the most personal and bratty of ways. I really don't conduct myself like this in the office. But right now is my free time, in the solitary isolation of my apartment. So I will just speak freely.

This post is neither good or bad. It's just a download of what's on my mind before I end my day.

It was a good work day again today. No huge issues at the office are considered good days, in my opinion. Everybody was generally in good spirits again like last Monday; with the exception of two people. One of them doesn't really care because everything has always been more than provided for him without exerting any effort for it. And the other, in gaming industry terms, is voluntarily trapped in a persistent virtual world with a peak CCU of 1; totally unaware of different other worlds/perspectives/paradigms (Yes, I have specifically made this statement vague on purpose).

Today, I had to give up and/or accept things in the name of my job. When I see those two people I mentioned act so immaturely, it makes me wonder why I can't just do the same. I had to cancel on my band's gig in Naga this coming Friday, much to my bandmates' disappointment. A client with a very important deal on the table is coming over to visit our office this coming Friday. Despite my over-eager anticipation for a break from work, and to revel in a shared passion called music, I had to choose between passion and occupation. Of course, professional maturity spoke the loudest, and I chose the latter.

This isn't the first time that I had to miss out on a gig because of my job. But it just kind of disappointed me, even though I know I made the right decision. I make personally disappointing decisions in the name of my work. But yet see other people not conduct themselves with at least close to the same level of professional maturity.

My need (job) trumped my want (music) in this instance.

Of course, any musician (even one as noobish as myself), yearn to have a convergence of passion and occupation in the form of rock-stardom. Doing what you love while making truck loads of money for it. But in all reality, of course that is not possible in my situation. Despite having only very little skill in percussion, the music industry just isn't lucrative in this country. Well, it's like that in any country, but even more so in this country. So a compromise needs to be made in order to come close to passion and make decent money. Hence, my current job. Working the gaming industry is closer to passion for me compared to my previous call center occupation.

It's 30+ minutes past 12:00MN here right now. And I "need" to hit the sack because I have an early meeting tomorrow. I'm grasping at anything that would result, at the very least, in a good ending to my day. Something to at least balance out the disappointment.

I was watching Battlestar Galactica Season 4 when I got home because Blizzard decided to have maintenance on all their World of Warcraft servers. Unfortunately, I forgot to download the very last episode, which happens to not only be the season ender, but the series ender as well. Like I said in Twitter, Geeky Sadness.

My last recourse now is to tire myself out by playing and singing a few songs on my guitar before getting some shut eye. I might opt to not even do it.

Bratty-ness (If that's even a word). I figured I can be mababaw/bratty for a change. Just this one time. I am being immature right now about making a mature decision earlier today. How ironic is that?


Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Enjoy the Silence...

I've been listening to a lot of Lacuna Coil lately. I first found out about the band because I inadvertently watched their music video of "Swamped" some time last year. I ended up checking out all their albums and absolutely loved the last two recent ones. My favorite is their 2006 album entitled "Karmacode". Their songs sport heavy guitar and bass riffs but are softened just a tad by the female vocalist's ethereal sound. So it's just perfect to listen to while I'm stressed at work without letting the music get me more riled up (apparently listening to KoRn and Disturbed rides and amplifies the stress and frustration I feel when I listen to it).

My good friend Euri sees Lacuna Coil as a goth rock band. I suppose they are. But I like their music nonetheless. I'm pretty open to most genres.

The last song of Lacuna Coil's Karmacode album is a cover song originally done by Depeche Mode. I was pleasantly surprised to hear that cover version of the song because I already took a liking to Lacuna Coil and I love Depeche Mode to boot.

I found the music video of their cover song on YouTube, of course. Below is the MV along with it's corresponding prose.

Enjoy the Silence
Covered by Lacuna Coil
Original by Depeche Mode

Words like violence
Break the silence
Come crashing in
Into my little world
Painful to me
Pierce right through me
Can't you understand
Oh my little girl

All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my arms
Words are very unnecessary
They can only do harm

Vows are spoken
To be broken
Feelings are intense
Words are trivial
Pleasures remain
So does the pain
Words are meaningless
And forgettable

All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my arms
Words are very unnecessary
They can only do harm

All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my arms
Words are very unnecessary
They can only do harm

All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my arms
Words are very unnecessary
They can only do harm

Enjoy the silence
Enjoy the silence
Enjoy the silence
Enjoy the silence

As always, I have to find a live version of the song in YouTube as well. The male back-up vocalist kinda bugged the shit out of me in this live performance. But the female vocalist is still good. Here's the video below.

Okay, I admit I got pretty obsessed with the damn song despite the lyrical meaning of the song having zero relevance to my life currently. I went looking for the original version of the song on YouTube. And to my surprise, I found it. Below is the music video of Depeche Mode's version of the song.

Then I searched for a live version of the Depeche Mode original. Yes, continuing the obsessiveness, I know. Depeche Mode likes changing their live renditions of theirs on any give gig. I always find that cool about bands. Here is a bootleg video of one of their live performances below.

Just to finish off the obsession about the song, my friend Liz noticed from my YM status that I was seriously crunching over this song. She sent me what I think is the best version of the song. The video below is a remix done by Mike Shinoda of Linkin Park.

This version just put me over the top about the song. Although, I'm kinda irked with Mike Shinoda's rapping in Linkin Park songs (Chester Benington is awesome though), I'm pretty impressed with what he did for this Depeche Mode song. He gave the original song more edge to it in true Linkin Park fashion.


Thursday, March 5, 2009

Anger Management

Walk through the door of your home.

Slam the door shut behind you.

Give off the loudest roar your lungs can muster.

Put on some heavy music.

Turn the volume up loud.

Headbang in the solitary confines of your room.

Sit on your bean bag.

Take the deepest breath your lungs can take.

Light a cigarette.

Cup your legs close to your chest.



Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Driven to Tears

So the title of this post is a little too emo than what it's really about. Although I have been feeling a little down the past week or so, this is more about how I miss having awesome gigs where I'm in the zone while I'm playing.

SunDownMuse has been known to do mostly originals and maybe 1 or 2 covers. But when we do pick a cover to do, we make sure that it's a great song and our rendition of it does the song and the artist justice.

This particular song I wanted to share with everyone is from The Police. My bandmates and I can never get enough of The Police and Sting (I see them as two completely separate styles of music even though they both involve Sting).

I found a video of the song performed live back in 1986 on YouTube. You gotta love YouTube. It gives you the benefit of seeing artists of the past perform even though you had little or no sense of music during the time these artists were performing. Check out the video below and its corresponding prose.

Drive to Tears
by The Police

How can you say that you're not responsible?
What does it have to do with me?
What is my reaction?
What should it be?
Confronted by this latest atrocity
Driven to tears
Driven to tears
Driven to tears

Hide my face in my hands, shame wells in my throat
My comfortable existence is reduced
To a shallow, meaningless party
Seems that when some innocents die
All we can offer them is a page in a some magazine
Too many cam'ras and not enough food
'Cause this is what we've seen
Driven to tears
Driven to tears
Driven to tears

Protest is futile
Nothing seems to get through
What's to become of our world?
Who knows what to do?
Driven to tears
Driven to tears
Driven to tears
Driven to tears
Driven to tears
Driven to tears

Years later, the Police got back together to do a Reunion World Tour. I personally have the 720p HD copy in my PC of their live concert in Japan back in 2007. Below is a video of them performing the same song in Madrid. I can decisively say that years of experience in music has definitely developed their sound to a more mature and awesome aural treat. They seem to be able to fill up an entire concert hall with their music for just a 3 piece band.

Last, but not least, below is a bootleg recording of my band playing our rendition of Drive to Tears. We play a more rocked out version, mind you. This particular bootleg recording was made during our Bar 42 gig about 2 years ago at least. Damn, I miss gigs like those. I really felt in the zone with my playing that night. Hopefully we'll get more gigs like that in the immediate future.

Damn, I just love it when it all comes together when my bandmates and I play like that. I miss that shit.


Saturday, February 21, 2009

Naga-licious Birthday Weekend

It's the weekend once again, finally. It was a long and hard work week. And I'm glad I got through it fine. But I think last weekend had something to do with how I got through this week better than usual.

Last weekend was my birthday weekend. I went with Briggs, my bandmate, to Naga. Briggs and Frennie running a bar in Naga called Wharf Galley Rock Cafe. I've always dreamed of putting up a bar of my own. But Briggs and Frennie successfully did just that. They hired Julianne to play at Wharf for Valentines. So I tagged along with Briggs on a long road trip so I can go watch it.

The trip going to Naga was fun. Briggs and I left at around 12:00AM Saturday morning/Friday night. Just enjoying music from both mine and Briggs' iPod made the long trip bearable.

Fast forwarding to that Saturday late afternoon, I grabbed my darbuka and headed with Briggs over to Wharf. Briggs brought a guitar as well in the hopes that we can get to jam after Julianne's set later in the night.

The place was empty with just Frennie and the Wharf staff busy making preparations for tonight. It's obvious that the Valentine's decor for the night had a woman's touch. There were rose petals everywhere; from the bathroom to the stage where Julianne will be performing.

Since there isn't any people around, Briggs and I decided to just jam a few songs as "quasi-practice" for jamming later in the night. The gear has definitely much improved since the last time I was in Wharf. Briggs did a good job investing in the right gear to elevate the level of the sound.

After jamming and a sumptuous Tenderloin Tips dinner, I started drinking that early on. And I mean drinking (LOL!). I was waiting for this trip all week. So I ended up taking out all my work stress and frustration out on alcohol (and then some ;-p).

A local Naga band played first that night. A good friend of ours, Brent, was doing the drum work for the band. He's also the organizer of a lot of events in Wharf. Basically, him and Frennie were the ones who brought Julianne over to perform.

To be honest, I didn't know at first whether I liked or disliked the local Naga band's music. All their songs were cover songs from a very wide selection of genres. I felt the vocals lacked a little "umph". But the "angry chick" undertone in the vocals warmed up to my ears soon enough. I was impressed with their bassist, Pete. "Poste" is apparently not in Pete's vocabulary, as he was doing all these funk fills in between chords all the time. But he pulled it off quite nicely.

Julianne and her crew started playing. I was so floored at how melodic and tight they were as a band that I forgot to start recording using my iPod recorder. I was able to start recording mid-way through their 1st song though.

Julianne definitely has a strong Jill Scott influence in her vocal style. But her accompanied guitar playing just blew me away. She had a full compliment band, with a bassist, lead guitarist (Kakoy), drummer, flute player, and even a percussionist. The percussionist, affectionately called by Julianne as Big Daddy Dave, wielded a larger darbuka than what I had. I was dying with envy that he has a larger one than mine. Hindi naman pataasan ng ihi or anything like that. I really wanted a larger darbuka but just couldn't find one around.

Apparently, my iPod recording conked out at the butt end of Julianne's set. So there is a portion of her set at the end that I wasn't able to record. That was most unfortunate. But I did get a good chunk of their 45 minute set.

I became even more of a fan after watching Julianne's set that I went over, bought a copy of her album, and asked her to sign it for me. I know, cheesy fan-dom. Hey, it's my birthday I can trip out on anything I want to. And cheap thrills was definitely in the list of "keeping it simple" options for the weekend.

Briggs and I jammed after Julianne's set. At first it started off with just us two playing SunDownMuse songs and some covers we both knew. There were just a few people left by then. Which suited Briggs and I just fine. But for those who were still there. They were surprisingly attentive. And it so happens these are some of the same local people that have watching many a SunDownMuse gig in Naga in the past.

Pete, the bass player from the first band, and Brent joined us soon after. Pete was a little shy. Although, he really had no reason to be. It's not like we're rockstars or something.

To my surprise, Kakoy and the Julianne drummer soon joined us to jam. Briggs stepped off the stage so that Kakoy can play guitar. Kakoy is so damn good. I was feeling insecure being on the same stage as him. But by then, I just went with it and had fun given that I went past counting how much I've had to drink for the night. LOL!

The next day, I woke up with a general fatique from the copius amounts of alcohol and other substances that I consumed the night before. Surprisingly, I was just tired and not hung over. Food in Naga is always good. I got a treat for lunch at Frennie's brother's club called "JAQ". His club is surprisingly very nice when you get inside. The floor was checkered black and white. There are large 50 inch LCD screens hung everywhere. And the tables, and chairs seemed well thought-out. They even have an aquarium in the men's portion of the unisex bathroom. Briggs joked that the fish would gravitate towards a guy while peeing depending on how small a guy's dick is. Good thing the fish were not drawn to me when I took a piss then (LOL!). The food there was great; from the pasta, the grilled pork chops, right down to the crepe desert.

I was so stuffed by the time we left Jack's club. We dropped Frennie back at her place. Briggs and I bought some drinks and snacks from a store. Then we started our long drive home. Dennis, Briggs' trusted driver/buhat boy/jester, drove for us the entire trip. That guy is so cool. I always find it hilarious when he would try to mack on some chick, like the cash registrar girl at Wharf, and pass it off as nothing. LOL!

On our way home, we almost got into a major accident. The road along Quirino had many portions that were under construction. It rained for a bit so those portions were muddy and slippery. Although Briggs' Tucson did fine, a bus from far behind us came screeching down fast and barely hit us. Instead, the bus driver swerved right at the last minute and crashed into the ditch on the side of the road. I was on the right side of Briggs' Tucson. So I had a close-up view of the bus barely missing us, about a waist in distance. The bus plowed into the ditch on the side of the road. It almost tipped to its side actually. The people in the bus seemed to be fine. Probably just jostled a little. Bus drivers, geez. They're always in a hurry. To think there were children on board that bus. Dennis sped off as soon as we hit a concrete portion of the road.

We parked at some gasoline station and took a look at how much mud the bus splashed on us. It made Briggs' Tucson seem like some off-road vehicle that was driving in and around mount Pinatubo on a rainy day. We later had the car washed down. Otherwise, all that mud would just harden and stick to the car, making it difficult to wash off later.

After a while, I calmed down from the ordeal and tried to enjoy the rest of the trip home. I arrived at my appartment later that Sunday night, not really sure as to how I felt about the trip.

Overall it was a fantastic trip. Despite it being a Valentines weekend, I was able to successfully have fun with no girl involved. That near-fatality shook me up bad. But I'm just relieved I got through that unscathed.

I'll probably would want to go back to Naga again some time. Just hope it doesn't rain on that damn road again. Either that or I take the plane instead. LOL!


Thursday, February 12, 2009

Keeping It Simple...

I've been on edge with work lately. Looks like I might've bitten off more than I chew with my new promotion. People around me seem to be increasingly opinionative and complaintative, without any notion of actually doing any form of action to work towards resolution of issues. Superiors have been getting more and more illogical in their ranting and grilling sessions. But I still try to remain professional and continue acting as the universal referree to all these marauding people.

All the stress and frustration has accumulated to the point that I had my first cluster headache attack in the middle of the night a few days ago. It's been 2 days since then. And although I haven't had another attack since, I feel this slight headache looming and lingering around. I'm scared actually. I hope this isn't the beginning of my 1-2 month run of pain.

I didn't start this post to rant really. I wanted to blog about all the little things that I'm trying in order to relax and cope with all the stress. So my apologies if this post started off a little negative.

Thursday last week, I finally got to jam with my band, SunDownMuse, after 2-3 months of band inactivity. Our drummer and lead guitarist were both extremely busy the past few months with their freelancing and recital projects. Apparently, Briggs send a rough recording of new songs that were going to practice at our jam. I didn't see it in my email, so I didn't exactly know what to expect from the jam when we started. Easiest place to get together and jam was Pipeline Studios in Jupiter Street, Makati, as usual, since the majority of us work somewhere in Makati.

To my surprise, the plan for the jam was to practice new songs instead of kicking the rust of playing our usual originals. This was the first time that we actually jammed new original songs with this particular band line-up. So the UP Music members had a chance to inject their knowledge and experience into these new songs for a change. The songs came out different from our usual 70s rock/funk vibe. It felt weird at first. But I soon cozied up to the the two songs we jammed, particularly the second song.

I was actually happy enough to just see and hang with my bandmates again. I missed these guys a lot the past few months. And I was happy enough to just road test my darbuka. I'm getting comfortable playing my new baby. Something tells me my darbuka will make its way to gigs often these days. It certainly is much smaller and lighter to carry around than two large congas. But of course, you really can't beat the cool look factor of congas on stage. It makes me look like some awesome percussionist even though I'm really not. LOL!

This week at work has been tough again. I just love the way people try to run you under the bus in front of you superiors just to save their own skin. But I'm a tank in the office. And I still manage to defend myself and push forward with what I need to do.

But that jam with my band last week really showed me that I can simplify things to just making music with people, and laugh once again. Perhaps I should look to hang out with non-office people for a change. Just so I have a break from all the difficulty and hardship.

My birthday is coming up (and no, I won't tell you when my birthday is or hold old I am), and I'm looking forward to going with Briggs and Islaw to Naga this weekend. Music lovers in Naga so appreciate SunDownMuse and its members. So this will be a weekend filled with jamming, enjoying other people's music, booze, and ehem... and then some. ;-)

Julianne is going to be playing at Wharf Galley Rock Cafe in Naga this weekend as well. So perhaps I can sneak in a jam with her or even just a picture. That girl is so good. From her sultry soul vocal chords, to her Ani Di Franco-esque style of guitar playing.

So here's to making things simple. And on the advent on my birthday, I can't think of a better way to celebrate it. I hope this weekend purges a lot of the stress that contributed to my cluster headache attack two days ago. I certainly hope this will help me recover. Wish me luck.


Thursday, January 29, 2009

Letting Jonathan Davis Scream For Me...

I've been having quite a few bad days lately. It seems that people have a severe lack of ethics and maturity. Coupled with my trust issues a week or so ago. This doesn't hold well for my belief that people are innately good. Instead, I see more and more people who are selfish, untrustworthy, and ultimately childish. Age definitely doesn't play a factor to this because apparently years of living their lives haven't shown them a thing. I think with age comes stubborness and just the outright inability to lower one's pride. Yes, I'm still on my high horse. But the biggest difference between myself and these people is that I know I can be proven wrong and I can admit mistakes. I can't say the same for these people.

With marauding superiors, issues left and right to boot, and all the dishonesty and plasticity, I just want to scream. But it's not like I can scream at the top of my lungs within the four walls of the office. So instead, I put on my headphones and listen to my iPod to alleviate the stress and frustration. This particular song that I listened to was a perfect shoe fit for my mood. In order to maintain composure and professionalism, I just let Jonathan Davis do all the screaming for me.

This song is from the band called Korn once again. I can't get enough of these guys. The lyrics are just so... so... so angry! LOL

Check out some make-shit video of the song that someone put together and uploaded on YouTube. I couldn't really find the actual music video of the song without the embedding feature disabled. So this will have to do. Prose of the song are below as always.

Right Now
by Korn

I'm feeling mean today
Not lost, not blown away
Just irritated and quite hated
Self control breaks down
Why's everything so tame?
I Like my life insane
I'm fabricating and debating
Who I'm gonna kick around

Right now
Can't find a way
To get across the hate
When I see you

Right now
I feel it scratch inside
I want to slash and beat you

Right now
I rip apart the things inside
That excite you

Right now
I can't control myself
I fucking hate you

I'm feeling cold today
Not hurt just Fucked away
I'm devastated and frustrated
God I feel so bound
So why'd I feel the need?
I think it's time to bleed
I'm gonna cut myself
and watch the blood hit the ground

Right now
Can't find a way
To get across the hate
When I see you

Right now
I feel it scratch inside
I want to slash and beat you

Right now
I rip apart the things inside
That excite you

Right now
I can't control myself
I fucking hate you

You open your mouth again
I swear I'm gonna break it
You open your mouth again,
My God I cannot take it

Shut up, shut up, shut up or I'll Fuck you up
Shut up, shut up, shut up or I'll Fuck you up
Shut up, shut up, shut up or I'll Fuck you up!
Shut up, shut up, shut up or I'll Fuck you up!
Shut up, shut up, shut up or I'll Fuck you up!
Shut up, shut up, shut up or I'll Fuck you up!

Right now
Can't find a way
To get across the hate
When I see you

Right now
I feel it scratch inside
I want to slash and beat you

Right now
I rip apart the things inside
That excite you

Right now
I can't control myself
I fucking hate you

I fucking hate you
I fucking hate you
I fucking hate you
I fucking hate you
I fucking hate you (Shut up!)
I fucking hate you (Shut up!)
I fucking hate you (Shut up!)

I bought Korn's Greatest Hits Volume 1 album quite a number of years ago. The second disc happened to be a DVD of Korn's live performance at CBGB's in New York. I loved their set on that DVD. Below is a video of the song performanced live at that venue. I continue to love Jonathan Davis' mic stand. It seems to be standard issue for him in all his live performances.

The hatred and angst in this song. I love it. LOL!


Sunday, January 25, 2009

Spread My Wings and Fly Away...

I finally got "wings" for my Vicious Summoner in the wee hours of morning last Friday night. Woohoo! You can only get them when you hit level 102. I was able to save up to 35 million dil. But I needed 15 million dil more in order to complete the quest to get my wings. A very nice friend of mine was kind enough to lend me some dil. So I can finally do the quest. For those who don't know the game Dekaron, obviously the three blue flaming floating skulls are obviously not wings. It's just a term used in the game because most other character classes' "wings" actually look like real wings. Below are some screen shots of my Vicious Summoner with his wings.


Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Lies, Betrayal, Ruin...

Today is a day I will get on my high horse and speak accordingly. I'm sick and tired of the evil that people spread around with no remorse for their actions.

Here are some truths about myself before I rant my heart out:

I have never cheated. This covers various forms of cheating, whether it is about relationships, or about my work.

I do not spin tales of deceit. I may tell a white lie here and there. But I don't outright lie continuously for days, weeks, months.

I can separate my personal life with my professional life. Although, at times, there are trying days where you can help but mix the two, generally I can say I can keep it separate.

This is the trifecta of truths about myself that is the basis of this post today. On to the ranting spree then.

One year and a few months ago was, in my mind at the time, the epitomy of being lied to, betrayed, and being ruined through absolutely no fault of my own. This person felt that they can have the best of both worlds by securing her financial future, and indulge in her sexual urges with someone else because I probably left them unsatisfied. I may have had faults in that past relationship. But I can safely say, I treated her well and was slowly making plans for a future with this person. But obviously that wasn't enough. I wasn't enough.

I have since then licked my wounds. Gathered all the broken pieces and rebuilt myself in a new work environment, and in essentially a new life as well. I realized a new found respect and appreciation for my family. And I found who my real friends were. They are very few. But I was sure who they were by that time.

As I mentioned in a previous blog post, I got promoted recently which puts me back on track with my career. Something of which was going nowhere back in my previous company. So I found a renewed confidence in myself and in my self-worth.

I started this new year with a smile on my face, while giving myself the proverbial pat on the back. My life was going great. My life continues to be going well until this day. And I am glad that the wheel of fortune hasn't swung around on me just yet.

However, these past few days and weeks, there are still people in my life capable of lies, betrayal, and ruin. And once again, through no fault of my own. People who I once knew to be loyal, skillful, and very professional friends, are actually no longer the people I knew them to be. Although, I've had a lengthy history with them, I was naive enough to think that they would never change for the worse. That you knew who they were at their core.

To pour acid in an already gaping wound, these people assume the worst of me as well. That I too am capable of the same evils they are now capable of doing. This is far from accurate. I had a few trials in my life recently that really tested myself on this. And I can safely say, that at my core, I am still a nice guy with some level of moral values retained.

It's also interesting to note that these people who saw right and wrong so clearly, digressed to the same level of warped reasoning as the person I mentioned earlier in this post. Aside from the lies, and the utter selfishness, it is astonishing that people of this nature are capable of cutting you down to pieces for their own personal self-esteem. Engaging in dirt digging and mud slinging to justify their evil actions is something that displays the immaturity of grade schooler or high schooler. It is obvious that some people disgress and not evolve from their current state. I now see these people being part of the same navel lint species as the person I mentioned earlier. All this immaturity from people who pretend to be righteous; when I wasn't and still do not engage in supposed battles against them. If I actually wanted to exact revenge and destroy someone, they will feel it. Even if I did have reason to strike back (which I do in every instance for the past year), conscience ultimately tells me not to engage in those kinds of activities.

I could go on and on with this. But I just realized that these people are not worth my precious time and energy to preach about any further. So I will end here. To all the gold digging, social climbing, false self-righteous, deceitful, back-stabbing people I'm referring to, I hope that you don't pass your morals and values to your children and your children's children. I will not wish hardship and the like upon you. I will just hope that the concept of karma does hold true for once.