Friday, October 1, 2010

Reaching Your Limit

It is the question you have always asked yourself. How far do you push in the name of your occupation? Even a dream job isn't without its ups and downs. Running away prematurely just because there are piling issues and disappointments is coined as the "easy way out". Pride pushes you forward, telling yourself that your resilience is the very measure that you're better than everybody else. You revel and smile at that fact even on your most trying of days.

A beer or a smoke is all that it takes to get past a day, a week, or month full of occupational difficulties. A good night sleep usually makes everything all better upon waking eyes.

When is too far just plainly too far? When is going the extra mile already dangerous? When do you let your fear get the better of you? When does your survival instincts take precedence? When do you finally let go of your dream? When do you start thinking of yourself rather than caring about others?

Is it when, within minutes, you start turning into someone you're not? Is it when you start blurting things from your mouth that make you cringe soon after? Is it when your personal safety is in jeopardy? Is it when your personal well being is severely affected? Is it when you realize that your superiors and your peers will not take care of you when it really counts? Is it when even you spent your entire life keeping your nose clean and treating people right, that you can potentially be sentenced like a common criminal?

Doubt sets in on your own capabilities. You start doubting your ability to be strong and lead, and most especially doubting your ability to stand firm and take care of yourself. With your family thousands of miles away, you are left lost with nothing to latch on to since everybody is already perched on your shoulders.

So you continue to drink the next beer, or smoke that next cigarette, in the hopes that the solution comes to mind like an epiphany that you should've had eons ago.You're still searching. You tell yourself perhaps listening to this next song will help you find the answers. You are the only one that can help yourself. No one else can. Think, you have to think. Think or you will face something worse than being alone...