Thursday, January 29, 2009

Letting Jonathan Davis Scream For Me...

I've been having quite a few bad days lately. It seems that people have a severe lack of ethics and maturity. Coupled with my trust issues a week or so ago. This doesn't hold well for my belief that people are innately good. Instead, I see more and more people who are selfish, untrustworthy, and ultimately childish. Age definitely doesn't play a factor to this because apparently years of living their lives haven't shown them a thing. I think with age comes stubborness and just the outright inability to lower one's pride. Yes, I'm still on my high horse. But the biggest difference between myself and these people is that I know I can be proven wrong and I can admit mistakes. I can't say the same for these people.

With marauding superiors, issues left and right to boot, and all the dishonesty and plasticity, I just want to scream. But it's not like I can scream at the top of my lungs within the four walls of the office. So instead, I put on my headphones and listen to my iPod to alleviate the stress and frustration. This particular song that I listened to was a perfect shoe fit for my mood. In order to maintain composure and professionalism, I just let Jonathan Davis do all the screaming for me.

This song is from the band called Korn once again. I can't get enough of these guys. The lyrics are just so... so... so angry! LOL

Check out some make-shit video of the song that someone put together and uploaded on YouTube. I couldn't really find the actual music video of the song without the embedding feature disabled. So this will have to do. Prose of the song are below as always.




Right Now
by Korn

I'm feeling mean today
Not lost, not blown away
Just irritated and quite hated
Self control breaks down
Why's everything so tame?
I Like my life insane
I'm fabricating and debating
Who I'm gonna kick around

Right now
Can't find a way
To get across the hate
When I see you

Right now
I feel it scratch inside
I want to slash and beat you

Right now
I rip apart the things inside
That excite you

Right now
I can't control myself
I fucking hate you

I'm feeling cold today
Not hurt just Fucked away
I'm devastated and frustrated
God I feel so bound
So why'd I feel the need?
I think it's time to bleed
I'm gonna cut myself
and watch the blood hit the ground

Right now
Can't find a way
To get across the hate
When I see you

Right now
I feel it scratch inside
I want to slash and beat you

Right now
I rip apart the things inside
That excite you

Right now
I can't control myself
I fucking hate you

You open your mouth again
I swear I'm gonna break it
You open your mouth again,
My God I cannot take it

Shut up, shut up, shut up or I'll Fuck you up
Shut up, shut up, shut up or I'll Fuck you up
Shut up, shut up, shut up or I'll Fuck you up!
Shut up, shut up, shut up or I'll Fuck you up!
Shut up, shut up, shut up or I'll Fuck you up!
Shut up, shut up, shut up or I'll Fuck you up!

Right now
Can't find a way
To get across the hate
When I see you

Right now
I feel it scratch inside
I want to slash and beat you

Right now
I rip apart the things inside
That excite you

Right now
I can't control myself
I fucking hate you

I fucking hate you
I fucking hate you
I fucking hate you
I fucking hate you
I fucking hate you (Shut up!)
I fucking hate you (Shut up!)
I fucking hate you (Shut up!)



I bought Korn's Greatest Hits Volume 1 album quite a number of years ago. The second disc happened to be a DVD of Korn's live performance at CBGB's in New York. I loved their set on that DVD. Below is a video of the song performanced live at that venue. I continue to love Jonathan Davis' mic stand. It seems to be standard issue for him in all his live performances.



The hatred and angst in this song. I love it. LOL!

END OF LINE...

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Spread My Wings and Fly Away...

I finally got "wings" for my Vicious Summoner in the wee hours of morning last Friday night. Woohoo! You can only get them when you hit level 102. I was able to save up to 35 million dil. But I needed 15 million dil more in order to complete the quest to get my wings. A very nice friend of mine was kind enough to lend me some dil. So I can finally do the quest. For those who don't know the game Dekaron, obviously the three blue flaming floating skulls are obviously not wings. It's just a term used in the game because most other character classes' "wings" actually look like real wings. Below are some screen shots of my Vicious Summoner with his wings.


END OF LINE...

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Lies, Betrayal, Ruin...

Today is a day I will get on my high horse and speak accordingly. I'm sick and tired of the evil that people spread around with no remorse for their actions.

Here are some truths about myself before I rant my heart out:

I have never cheated. This covers various forms of cheating, whether it is about relationships, or about my work.

I do not spin tales of deceit. I may tell a white lie here and there. But I don't outright lie continuously for days, weeks, months.

I can separate my personal life with my professional life. Although, at times, there are trying days where you can help but mix the two, generally I can say I can keep it separate.


This is the trifecta of truths about myself that is the basis of this post today. On to the ranting spree then.

One year and a few months ago was, in my mind at the time, the epitomy of being lied to, betrayed, and being ruined through absolutely no fault of my own. This person felt that they can have the best of both worlds by securing her financial future, and indulge in her sexual urges with someone else because I probably left them unsatisfied. I may have had faults in that past relationship. But I can safely say, I treated her well and was slowly making plans for a future with this person. But obviously that wasn't enough. I wasn't enough.

I have since then licked my wounds. Gathered all the broken pieces and rebuilt myself in a new work environment, and in essentially a new life as well. I realized a new found respect and appreciation for my family. And I found who my real friends were. They are very few. But I was sure who they were by that time.

As I mentioned in a previous blog post, I got promoted recently which puts me back on track with my career. Something of which was going nowhere back in my previous company. So I found a renewed confidence in myself and in my self-worth.

I started this new year with a smile on my face, while giving myself the proverbial pat on the back. My life was going great. My life continues to be going well until this day. And I am glad that the wheel of fortune hasn't swung around on me just yet.

However, these past few days and weeks, there are still people in my life capable of lies, betrayal, and ruin. And once again, through no fault of my own. People who I once knew to be loyal, skillful, and very professional friends, are actually no longer the people I knew them to be. Although, I've had a lengthy history with them, I was naive enough to think that they would never change for the worse. That you knew who they were at their core.

To pour acid in an already gaping wound, these people assume the worst of me as well. That I too am capable of the same evils they are now capable of doing. This is far from accurate. I had a few trials in my life recently that really tested myself on this. And I can safely say, that at my core, I am still a nice guy with some level of moral values retained.

It's also interesting to note that these people who saw right and wrong so clearly, digressed to the same level of warped reasoning as the person I mentioned earlier in this post. Aside from the lies, and the utter selfishness, it is astonishing that people of this nature are capable of cutting you down to pieces for their own personal self-esteem. Engaging in dirt digging and mud slinging to justify their evil actions is something that displays the immaturity of grade schooler or high schooler. It is obvious that some people disgress and not evolve from their current state. I now see these people being part of the same navel lint species as the person I mentioned earlier. All this immaturity from people who pretend to be righteous; when I wasn't and still do not engage in supposed battles against them. If I actually wanted to exact revenge and destroy someone, they will feel it. Even if I did have reason to strike back (which I do in every instance for the past year), conscience ultimately tells me not to engage in those kinds of activities.

I could go on and on with this. But I just realized that these people are not worth my precious time and energy to preach about any further. So I will end here. To all the gold digging, social climbing, false self-righteous, deceitful, back-stabbing people I'm referring to, I hope that you don't pass your morals and values to your children and your children's children. I will not wish hardship and the like upon you. I will just hope that the concept of karma does hold true for once.

END OF LINE...

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Neon

Well, it's officially the 3rd day of 2009. And I feel sick since yesterday. There are a lot of thoughts going through my head. However, instead of downloading those thoughts in a post, I decided to just share with you guys a song I've been crunching over the past few weeks.

This particular song is by John Mayer from his first album. The song speaks of a girl that lives an action-packed life, and the see-saw pain/bliss of pursuing a girl like that. I suppose initially I was drawn to this song because I've associated myself in the past with girls like the one described in the song. Stupid really. Although the words of the song have some slight significance to my life, I ultimately was drawn to the song more on how upbeat and melodic it is. I tried to learn it on guitar, in the hopes that I can add it to my small repetoire of inuman jam songs. But unfortunately, the song is just a little to difficult for my limited guitar skills. I like the song nonetheless. And I've been listening to it as a little "pick-me-up" whenever I'm down. Seems to work for some reason.

Anyway, below is a make-shift video that someone made of the song, and its accompanying prose.



Neon
by John Mayer


When sky blue gets dark enough
To see the colors of the city lights
A trail of ruby red and diamond white
Hits her like a sunrise

She comes and goes and comes and goes
Like no one can

Tonight she's out to lose herself
And find a high on Peachtree Street
From mixed drinks to techno beats it's always
Heavy into everything

She comes and goes and comes and goes
Like no one can
She comes and goes and no one knows
She's slipping through my hands

She's always buzzing just like
Neon, neon
Neon, neon
Who knows how long, how long, how long
She can go before she burns away

I can't be her angel now
You know it's not my place to hold her down
And it's hard for me to take a stand
When I would take her anyway I can

She comes and she goes
Like no one can
She comes and she goes
She's slipping through my hands

She's always buzzing just like
Neon, neon
Neon, neon
Who knows how long, how long, how long
She can go before she burns away, away.

She comes and she goes
Like no one can
She comes and she goes
She's slipping through my hands

She's always buzzing just like
Neon, neon
Neon, neon
Who knows how long, how long, how long
She can go before she burns away



As always, I like putting a live version of any song I share in my blog. But I couldn't really decide which one of the two live videos of the song I liked better. So I'll just post them both up here.

Below is a Live in LA version of the song by John Mayer.



And lastly, below is an acoustic live version of the song. The acoustic version is pretty good. It's really too bad I'm not better at guitar to be able to learn to play and sing this song.



John Mayer has since then released 2 other albums after the 1st one. It's interesting to note that his latest album is actually a 3-piece blues band. It's nice to know that his music is maturing as time passes.

END OF LINE...