Recurring Dream

I opened my eyes and found myself laying on the floor surrounded by darkness and fog.

I got up from the floor and looked around.  But I saw nothing in all directions.

I extended my arms here and there, tried to feel for any object.

I started walking aimlessly in the hopes that I would arrive at some path or even a wall.

The air felt cold and heavy.  Every breath I took ensued a piercing sensation in my chest.

I spotted a dimly lit figure of a girl up ahead.  No amount of squinting of the eyes, nor waving away the fog made the vision any clearer.

The figure slowly approached me.  As the girl came closer, I looked at her face.  I couldn't make out what she looked like.

There was something familiar about her because I surprisingly dropped to my knees as she approached.

She reached out her hand to touch my cheek.  The warmth of her hand was pleasant.

My quiet frustration increased because I still couldn't recognize who she was.

She placed her hand on my head and smiled.

She started walking away from me.  I tried to reach out to her but somehow created more distance between us.

I tried to call out to her, not a sound came out from my mouth.

As the figure faded away, I started crying not even knowing why I was all of a sudden in tears.


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Breakin' Down

Regardless if this admission shows my age or not, glam rock was right up there for me as grunge was back in the 90s. Skid Row's Subhuman Race album was part and parcel of my musical fixations back then. I loved the album and practically all the songs in it, regardless of the lack of attention it got compared to Skid Row's earlier albums. It was unfortunate their monster of a vocalist Sebastian Bach was kicked out of the band after this album. The vocalist that came after Bach never really did it for me.

As with a lot of glam bands back in the day, I always loved the fact that they would slip some cheesy yet very cool ballad amongst all their heavier songs. Skid Row's Subhuman Race album had one particular ballad that kinda just stuck to me ever since high school. The title of the song is "Breakin' Down". Today at work, I was listening to this song on repeat over and over again (Yes, I do obsess over songs like this at times). I've been trying to find a way to sort out things in my head given that even people that I care about dearly have grown tired of hearing me vent. I figured this song could help me get by on my own. So as soon as I got home, I picked up my guitar in the hopes that I can learn to play and sing it. I could play it, but the singing part... Well, let's just say Bach is just way too good to be emulated by most. LOL!

This was part of the soundtrack for an old movie called "The Prophecy". I found the official video on YouTube. So I decided to share the video and the song's prose with you in this post.



Breakin' Down
by Skid Row

What was it you once said
That there would be things in life that couldn't be
Not for a second did I believe you
Not for a minute did I believe that

Within your need you lie alone
This empty space you call your home

If you just let me in
I wouldn't let you break down
'cause I'm breakin' down

As if you thought the rain could wash away the day
And could heal you
Not for a second did I believe it
Not for a minute did I believe that

Within your need you lie alone
This empty space you call your home

If you just let me in
I wouldn't let you break down
'cause I'm breakin' down
If you just let me in
I wouldn't let you break down
'cause I'm breakin' down

What was it you once said
That there would be things in life that couldn't be
Not for a second did I believe you
Not for a minute did I believe that

If you just let me in
I wouldn't let you break down
'cause I'm breakin' down
If you just let me in
I wouldn't let you break down
'cause I'm breakin' down


As always, I found a live version of the song. I actually found a better quality one than the one below. But the audio had a static hiss when Bach's vocals would clip, aside from the fact that he looked thoroughly stoned off his ass. LOL! So this MTV one will have to do. Just don't mind the corny MTV UK VJ that introduces Skid Row. LOL!



\m/


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Spartacus: Blood and Sand

Spartacus depicts extreme sensuality, brutality and language that some viewers may find objectionable.

The show is a historical portrayal of ancient Roman society and the intensity of the content is to suggest an authentic representation of the period.

Badass...

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How Soon Is Now

I've been listening this song on repeat all day at work for some odd reason. Today was largely undefined for me as how I felt about it. Admittedly, I first got into this song because it's the opening theme song of an old TV series called Charmed. Yes, I know what you're thinking. And yes, I watched Charmed for the same reasons I watched another old TV Show, Baywatch. I'm a guy after all. After a while, I started liking the song itself.

I eventually found the full song of the cover theme song done by a band called Love Spit Love. And that's what I was listening to all day on my iPod. I found a video of the song weaved in with Charmed clips on YouTube. Here is the video.



I also found out that the original version of this song was written by The Smiths (a band that my bassist Islaw absolutely loves). This song and Islaw's influence got me into The Smiths in the first place. I found a live video of this version on YouTube as well.



As I was writing this post, I found a girl duo/group that covered this song by The Smiths. They're called "t.A.T.u.". The video of one of their TV live performances is below. I just had to slip this in last minute.



I like this version too. LOL! But what's funny is that I like all three versions of this song for varied reasons.


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Soundgarden is Back!

I've been a huge fan of Chris Cornell and Soundgarden for eons. As a 90s boy, Soundgarden was one of quite a few bands that made an impact on me back in high school. When I first heard that Soundgarden was back together, my eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. Imagine my elation when they released a carrier single, Black Rain, for their upcoming album, Telephantasm. Below is the music video for that single. It's really good. I'm really happy that there is new Soundgarden material out.



To my surprise, I found out that Black Rain wasn't new material at all. It's just one of their unreleased tracks around the Badmotorfinger era. When I got my hands on the new album, it was all previously released tracks from different albums.

Disappointing, but I still dig their music. I would've loved to hear new material from them to see how they've matured and grown as musicians. But a slice of the past is good too.

Below is another video of them playing a song called Hunted Down from their Screaming Life/Fopp album.



Damn, they still got it.

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Reaching Your Limit

It is the question you have always asked yourself. How far do you push in the name of your occupation? Even a dream job isn't without its ups and downs. Running away prematurely just because there are piling issues and disappointments is coined as the "easy way out". Pride pushes you forward, telling yourself that your resilience is the very measure that you're better than everybody else. You revel and smile at that fact even on your most trying of days.

A beer or a smoke is all that it takes to get past a day, a week, or month full of occupational difficulties. A good night sleep usually makes everything all better upon waking eyes.

When is too far just plainly too far? When is going the extra mile already dangerous? When do you let your fear get the better of you? When does your survival instincts take precedence? When do you finally let go of your dream? When do you start thinking of yourself rather than caring about others?

Is it when, within minutes, you start turning into someone you're not? Is it when you start blurting things from your mouth that make you cringe soon after? Is it when your personal safety is in jeopardy? Is it when your personal well being is severely affected? Is it when you realize that your superiors and your peers will not take care of you when it really counts? Is it when even you spent your entire life keeping your nose clean and treating people right, that you can potentially be sentenced like a common criminal?

Doubt sets in on your own capabilities. You start doubting your ability to be strong and lead, and most especially doubting your ability to stand firm and take care of yourself. With your family thousands of miles away, you are left lost with nothing to latch on to since everybody is already perched on your shoulders.

So you continue to drink the next beer, or smoke that next cigarette, in the hopes that the solution comes to mind like an epiphany that you should've had eons ago.You're still searching. You tell yourself perhaps listening to this next song will help you find the answers. You are the only one that can help yourself. No one else can. Think, you have to think. Think or you will face something worse than being alone...

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The Pawnshop

He finds himself in a dingy pawnshop on the other side of town. There were quite a few pawnshops between his appartment and this particular one.  But somehow he felt it prudent to travel some distance away from his home.

To his surprise, there was quite a few people lined up at the counter. He figured that given the distance of the place would equate to little or no walk-in customers. He's not in a hurry, yet keeps looking at his cellphone to check the time. The dirty ceiling fan was the only source of relief from the internal humidity of the place. The screeching sound of price negotiations were piercing his ears, as a customer in front pushed for a higher price for the necklace he was trying to pawn. His chest gets heavier as the line gets shorter.

He gets to the counter, and breathes a sigh of relief. He sinks his right hand into his pocket, and pulls a small box out. As he opens the small box, a plethora of feelings engulf him; from annoyance, anger, sadness, to disappointment. He shows the open box to the lady at the counter. The lady stares at the object in the box and cringes while in deep thought. The lady offers him a third of the price in which he bought the object.  This upset him a little. His eyes show signs of hesitation.

He picks up a shiny little ring from within the small box and holds it in front of his eyes. He stares at the diamond that sits on top.  The stone gleams against the blinking fluorescent light. He gives off a disappointed smile as he places the box and the ring on the counter. He then gives the lady a nod.

As he grabs the money given to him and walks out of the pawnshop, he whispers a word quietly to himself....

"Goodbye"


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Hang Denied

I got an email from PANArt, the makers of the Hang, today.

PANArt
Hangbauhaus
Engehaldenstr. 131
3012 Bern, Schweiz

We got your letter. You are interested in a hang. The demand for our high energy resonance body has been incredibly overwhelming. The Free Integral Hang is not a musical instrument. It can`t be produced in masses. The PANArt Hang makers create in dedication a tool for daily concentration. Therefore only a few of interested people will get it on their lap.

We can`t sell you a hang.

Have a look on the newest publication to see where the hang reached.
http://www.hangblog.org/hang-library/

Thank you for your understanding.
Yours sincerely,

F. Rohner, Hangbauer S. Schärer, Hangbauerin


:(

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mobiusonline: World of Warcraft 60 Day Subscription Card

I've been playing World of Warcraft a lot as of late. The term "a lot" is actually an understatement. It's actually all I do with what little free time I have. I've been largely a hermit, dealing with issues of loneliness and general distrust of people. But regardless of all that I've found a home in World of Warcraft that geekily keeps me happy.

My main character is a Draenei Hunter. I linked my character below from the World of Warcraft Armory site.

http://us.battle.net/wow/en/character/gnomeregan/xhava/simple

I've been playing this game on and off for a while. I initially started playing this game as a "break-up game" to deal with a very traumatic end of a past relationship. Since then, it's always been a game that I can play solo, despite the fact that my gaming preference has always been multiplayer with friends.

Now I realize this is probably a self-serving shameless plug. But this is my blog. So I'll post whatever I want.

I felt the thrill of having a small victory in the office the other day. There are very few of those happening these days. So I relish them whenever they come around. We finally worked out a deal with Blizzard/IAH to retail World of Warcraft subscription cards. Being a very avid WoW fan myself. Of course, it's only natural to be thrilled about this.

In the past the only way you can purchase WoW game time in the Philippines is to buy sub cards physically from Datablitz, or key in your credit card. At least now we provide another avenue for WoW players, especially for those who don't have credit cards and can't visit your nearest Datablitz store easily.

If you're interested in purchasing WoW subscription time from us just click on the mobiusgames ePoints logo below.

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Please Vote for my Cute Cute Litul Niece!

Like the title says. Anybody who stumbles upon this post, please vote for my very very cuuuuuuuute litul niece, Kami. My sister and her husband entered her into a Parents Magazine Cover contest. Just click on the link below to vote for Kami.

http://photos.parents.com/category/vote/photo/292456

You can vote again each day until the rest of the week. Please please please!


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One Man Jazz Band

I know I should be sleeping already because I have an early day at work later. But I just have to blog about this video that my good friend Gino showed me. His name is Fabio Valdemarin (as far as I can surmise from his YouTube username). He is a true definition of a "one-man band". You just have to check it out.



There is just no way this guy didn't make a deal with the devil. LOL!

He is the man. I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy! (Bows deeply in front of this guy)


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The Irony of Health, Understanding, and Reliance on Others

It's regular weekly maintenance for World of Warcraft tonight. I'm left relatively lost as to what I want to do with what little free time I have tonight. The night is about to end anyway. So I won't have to worry about what to do for very much longer. Tomorrow will be back to the grind for me. I'll just jot down some of my thoughts that have been lingering around in my head before I hit the sack. Of course, I like trifecta topic blog posts as always. I'll just jump in head first and download all my 3 topics in this post.

(Writing this post while listening to John Mayer's new album "Battle Studies". I just got it so might as well give it a good once over)


Irony of Health

I've been going to an ENT doctor for the past 3-4 weeks regarding my recent sore throat bouts. I was diagnosed with Laryngopharyngeal Reflux (LPR). All the years of Coke drinking, cigarette smoking, boozing, and then some has finally caught up with me. Apparently, my throat is sore not because of some inflammation or infection, but because my stomach acids rise up while I'm sleeping and nestle around my larynx and vocal chords.

For these past 3-4 weeks, I've been drinking nothing but water just to help my recovery along. I've actually gotten used to just drinking water. But it does get frustrating to not be able to go on alcohol drinking binges every weekend.

I read on the net that losing a little weight helps people with my condition. So this is my 2nd week of going to the gym 4 days a week. I finally get to use the gym in my appartment building again. It's a lot less embarrassing to work out there compared to going to a gym like Fitness First. At least I can deal with my own frailty and physical weakness on my own. My gym sessions are mostly about cardio on the treadmill. I've gotten up to doing 2 miles each time I hit the tread mill. I'm now trying to lessen the time it takes me to finish 2 miles. I'll eventually get there I suppose. I just hope I don't get lazy.

The only downside of going to the gym is that I seem to go on gluttony-mode on those days. The treadmill I use has a read-out on how many calories I burn. But I'm pretty sure the uber large amounts of food I eat on those days is about twice or thrice as much calories than what I've burnt. So I don't know if this working out thing will be good for me in the long run. LOL!

Two Handsful of Sound

My good friend Mari, gave me a copy of Manu Delago's album called "Handmade" just a while ago and it literally blew me away. I've been following Manu Delago for a while now (one of my very first posts in this blog was about him and the wonderful instrument called the Hang), and this was the first time I've ever gotten my hands on one of his albums. The only other performance of his that I was able to download is at Shpongle live back in 2008. And he only had a short stint performance in the entire concert at that.

So after listening to the first few tracks of Manu's "Handmade" album, I looked at his website to see what's new with his work. I came across a video in this YouTube channel that yet again blew me away. Here is the video below. You should definitely check it out.



What's amazing is that it's actually a 10 layer song (yes, I even counted the number of separate "picture in picture" screens in this video). Each track is a separate Hang track that he recorded one at a time and it came together really well. What I like about the song the most is that you'll notice that each track starts ending one after the other with the same melody lick until it reaches to just 2 tracks and ends there.

Manu is the man. I found his Facebook fan page and I definitely clicked on "Like". I even left a post on his wall praising him and how I wished to be blessed with a Hang of my own.

I faxed a letter to the Hang makers a month ago, and I haven't received a response. From what I've read on the net, the Hang makers don't really respond right away. Perhaps I'll send a follow-up letter through snail mail this time. I don't know how much better I can phrase my letter for them to know how serious I am of wanting one and exploring the instrument myself. Oh how I wish.


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Starcraft 2 Sounds

All gamers practically have all the common voice overs of Starcraft 1 units imprinted in their brains after years of incessantly spam clicking each unit for amusement. Those phrases normally come up in normal conversation, followed by a chuckle and a giggle displaying how geeky we really are. Starcraft 2 rolled in with closed beta, sporting new voice overs that are totally different yet still very funny and entertaining. A guy in YouTube going by the call sign 9livesBE painstakingly recorded a lot of the new unit voice overs. Check two of the basic Starcraft 2 units and their voice overs below. I'd add a Zerg unit on this post. But Zerg units still don't say anything discernable in Starcraft 2. Just different variations of somebody throwing up. LOL!

Terran Marine



Protoss Zealot



Cracks me up. LOL!


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Photoblog Migration

Found a way to import all the posts in my Blogger photoblog over to Tumblr (Not like the pictures in my photoblog are much to look at or anything). You can check out further posts in my new photoblog in the link below.

http://sundowndos.tumblr.com/


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Feeling Music Beyond Just Hearing It

Every musician should watch this video. Evelyn Glennie is a true inspiration to all musicians. What drew me to this video is the fact that this orchestral master percussionist is deaf. Yet, she feels and understands music better than most people who have the use of their ear drums.



Very inspiring indeed...


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Highs and Lows: On the Lows and Returning to Status Quo

After having so much fun at the beach, the days after that were filled with physical difficulty and self-induced loneliness. This is the second part of wheel of karmic of fortune I speak of.


The Lows

The very next day when I arrived back from Puerto Galera. I obviously had a sore throat. I was surprised to find that I had difficulty eating, drinking, and swallowing. My throat would even hurt when I would yawn. I had this metallic taste in my mouth that I couldn't get rid of no matter what I would do. And I felt a fever coming on.

A fever did arrive after a few hours, and I spent the next two to three days not being able to eat anything at all. I attempted to self-medicate, which of course isn't always the wise thing to do. I was too weak to step outside to even buy medicine, let alone drag myself to the doctor.

My office obviously needed me, given the truck load of issues that even co-executives in my company conveniently left for me to handle when I get back to work. I was following everything that was going on in the office during my vacation by reading all the emails coming in on my Blackberry. But I had to keep letting go of work especially since I was sick.

Perhaps I could've dragged myself to the doctor back then. But when I remember the days when my ex-girlfriend left me, and my entire family was in the States during one of my 1-2 month long cluster headache bouts, I hesitate to ask for help or even heave myself over to Makati Med for a check-up. I remember being alone to tend to my pain back then. I remember being bounced around between my HMO's office and Makati Med several times in a day when I sought medical help. All of that made me turtle shell this time around, and attempt to nurse myself back to help on my own.

Highs and Lows: The Highs

The past 2 weeks have been a whirlwind ride for me. It's as if I was spinning around wildly in some wheel of karmic fortune. I have no one to talk to about it. So here I am telling my blog of all the smiles, joys, tears, and sadness of the past 2 weeks.


The Highs

The Friday before last Friday was the beginning of my long anticipated "vacation". I have not had a vacation in over a year because of work. Considering I didn't even get time off from the Christmas and New Year holidays, I was so stoked to actually take time off and head to the beach. I was fortunate that my good friend Roland wanted to hit the beach as well. So unlike, many trips years ago, I felt good that I wasn't doing this particular trip solo.

I missed White Beach, Puerto Galera. It has been years since I would go there practically every weekend. I used to treat the place as my escape because of my immaturity/inability to handle love and the loss of that love. Through those countless trips, I found friends and music that guided me towards a life direction that until this day I am glad that I took. After a while I went back to White Beach less and less. This was actually a good sign back then because I became less dependent on the place to help me deal with my depression. I was reckless and self-destructive back then (I was such a stupid kid). But with the friendships I formed there, and the music that we shared, it shaped me towards the person I am today. With all that personal history with White Beach in the back of my head, I was so excited to "come back home", so to speak.

More Hype Built Around Tron Legacy

I blogged about this upcoming movie last year. Check out the post here. A very short teaser trailer was released that made me and throngs of die hard Tron fans jizz in their pants. Recently, they just released a new extended trailer that shows a little more of what's to come. Check out the video below.



Even more jizzage in thy pants. I'm glad to see that they retained more than just Jeff Bridges from the original cast. Too bad this movie is not coming out until the butt end of this year. Disney hype building. Damn marketing machine works.

(Of course, I end all my blog posts with a line ripped off from the original Tron movie)


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The Power of the Pentatonic Scale

The past few months have been such a late epiphany for me about Bobby McFerrin. For years, the only thing I knew about Bobby McFerrin is how intricate his song "Don't Worry Be Happy" was put together. No instruments, all vocal track harmonies, layered one after another in an analog recording studio (That basically means if he made a mistake, he rerecords the entire track again). That in itself was amazing for me.

Friends, as of late, have been showing me YouTube videos of Bobby McFerrin that totally blew my mind. One of which is the video that I'm sharing with you below. This was taken at the World Science Festival in 2009. The theme of the event was "Notes and Neurons". And they brought in Bobby McFerrin as an expert speaker for the event.



It's uncanny how the pentatonic scale seems to be instinctual to people. It gives some of us musician wannabees a little hope. LOL!


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The End of the Month Long Birthday Celebration

Today is the last day of February. As heavy as it has been at work. I managed to squeeze out free time during weekends this past month to attempt to celebrate my birthday. Now, usually I celebrate it once and that would be it. However, given how mundane my birthday was last year, how alone I've felt, and how hard I've been working, I decided to extend my birthday celebration for the entire month instead.  I needed to feel content and proud of myself.

I can't really divulge all the details of all the celebration events that took place this month.  But I can certainly share some.

Bought enough food to feed my entire company on the Friday of my actual birthday weekend. The cake they got for me was certainly a surprise. It felt a little good to know that they somewhat care about me beyond just being a boss. I rarely feel that in the office these days. The rare feeling was welcome when it came on that Friday.

I bought a new PC for myself. I've been putting it off for a while. But 13th month pay provided the funds for some much needed "giving back to myself". Below is a picture for my new PC.

I spent a considerable amount of money on this PC. I have a knack of doing this. I max out the specs of a new PC, so that it will last a number of years before buying a new one. My previous PC was very much like that too. But 6 years later and it was time to change it up. Below are the specs of my new PC.

Orianthi

Orianthi is one of those rising pop stars lately that I did notice because she possesses guitar skills that most girls do not have. This is by no means an insult to females. In fact, even the vocalist/guitarist of my band is female. Briggs can play guitar better than a lot of male guitarists.

Orianthi's music is obviously very pop current in nature. However, what opened my eyes (well in this case ears) about this particular artist is when I saw a music video of her alongside guitar legend Steve Vai.

Check out the video below of that particular song. It is a huge departure from Orianthi's regular sound. It goes to show that at times all the marketing muscle can hide a musician's true skill.



When I watched this video, Orianthi just got a gazillion plus pogi points to the point of underwear dropping phenoma. In other words, nalaglag brip ko. LOL!


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Paoli Mejias

This guy is a monster conga player. His speed with the accompanied clarity of his strokes is so amazing. I think he's even as fast as Giovanni Hidalgo. Check out the video below.



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Forgotten Chapters of Life

I had dinner with two of my officemates from our IT department at the nearby McDonald's a while ago. The dinner was filled with stories of our highschool and college days. Each of them were taking turns, at times interrupting each other, mentioning all these good and funny memories of their past. The dinner was like any other dinner to end the work day really. But when I usually contribute and share stories of my own past, tonight I was just quietly listening.

It kind of dawned on me that unlike my 2 companions, I hardly remember much about my highschool and college days. I can actually say that I hardly remember much of my past in general. Just snippets here and there, only to be reminded of details of any specific past event through pictures. That's probably why I take random pictures from my phone for the past few years. Because once I see a picture from an event, then I start remember specific details.

Of course, I have stories to share of my past too. As shown during my good friend Gino's despedida party the other weekend. Apparently in my drunken stupor, I had a lot of stories to share Gino's friends. I ended up being a barrel of laughs with how I would tell each story. Gino mentioned that I probably wouldn't be forgotten anytime soon by the people who were there because of it. When I do tell what little stories I have to share, I usually tell them in a way that it ultimately makes fun of myself. Somehow, it sells to people you're telling it to purely because the butt of your jokes is no one but yourself. It actually gets mean if you incessantly poke fun of somebody else. I'm pretty sure if that night dragged on any longer, that I would've ran out of stories to share.

Pain

It's funny how a lot of people find it surprising that I listen to rap. Back in highschool, as I was heavily immersed in the grunge movement. But at the same time, I was pretty interested in the wave of rap artists back then. From Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, to Onyx, which all conincedentally were all gangsta rap in nature. I wasn't hip hop back then or anything (even though I prefer wearing baggy jeans and big shirts). I just enjoyed the music.

Yesterday, I was watching a DVD concert of Tupac/Snoop Dogg in the House of Blues back in the 90s. That kind of brought me back to where I used to be with my interest in rap. Tupac was the shit (R.I.P.).

Below is one of my all-time favorite Tupac songs that was part of the soundtrack for the movie "Above The Rim".

iPhone New Years Shots

I figured I'd put some pictures on for a changes, since what I've been doing lately is post videos, lyrics, or rants. Below are pictures I took of the fireworks I bought and set off at my parents' house in Alabang during New Year's Eve. Can't do much with an iPhone. But it was cool to even try. LOL!

It was a full moon that night and it shown smack dab above our house.

Starcraft 2 Match with Commentary

This game is just taking its sweet time coming out. I won't bother explaining what this game is to people who don't know Starcraft. For those who do know about this game, check out the video below of a 20 minute match between Terran and Protoss.



Of course, the Korean Terran player won. Damn Koreans really just live and breathe Starcraft. LOL!


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